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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Unhelpful Partner??

4 replies

Christmasismyfavouritetimeofyear · 10/12/2024 23:44

Maybe I'm just being over sensitive and flooded with hormones...
My DP goes back to work tomorrow after 19 days on paternity leave, I had our second child 18 days ago by c section and we have a DC already who is 20 months.
Apart from breakfast twice and maybe a couple of hot dinners he hasn't done anything in regards to making sure we as a family are fed. I'm obviously more than capable of cooking now but the first few days coming out of hospital was mainly takeaways.

He's also been sleeping in unless I've begged him to get up with DC1, normally until 9/10/11 in the morning. Again I can now get up with DC1 but to not even think from his part that he would let me have a lie in? He doesn't wake with baby during the night as I am BF so I thought he may want to let me rest and catch up on some sleep.

Apart from this and going out throughout pregnancy, drinking and at times I know he has done drugs he's still out a few times a week ( granted we've had a tough few years but still!) he tells me it's his way of dealing with stress, that he has spent x amount of money of making the house better for us etc etc so I should just allow it?

I don't know
AIBU you're too sensitive, you've had a baby get over it
YANBU he needs to realise he's got a family and pull his weight

OP posts:
MuddyPawsIndoors · 10/12/2024 23:50

No you're not being too sensitive at all.

What was he like with the first baby?

Christmasismyfavouritetimeofyear · 10/12/2024 23:55

He was pretty helpful, but then he went back to work quite early with DC1 so I didn't have much choice but to crack on

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 11/12/2024 07:34

Wow definitely not unreasonable! He’s still out a few times a week drinking and taking drugs when you have 2 under 2, including a not even 3 week old?

rubyslippers · 11/12/2024 07:37

so he’s taking drugs
going out drinking
and you basically have to accept that on top of him not parenting or pulling his weight with the kids
you’re not being hormonal or over sensitive
I’d be giving serious thought to the relationship because it’s not sounding good
do you have any family close by? Someone you could get some support from?

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