Aibu to 'outsource' a bit of parenting? (Tutor?)

[Emily198222]

I have an 8 yo who is a bit behind at school.
She's happy and confident and chatty but academically 'working towards'.

I want to help her but I'm struggling with this. I think I have undiagnosed adhd and find it absolutely impossible to follow through on plans to schedule regular study things like spellings/time tables/homework.
I really, really want to. But I just can't do it. I've tried so many times with a new routine.
I work full time with a random shift pattern which doesn't help.

I'm wondering if I need to accept that despite good intentions I can't make this work and whether I should try and get her a tutor for an hour a week to do some 1-1 teaching.
Does this sound like a reasonable plan? Would it help do you think?
Has anyone done it?
I'm not aspiring to massive academic heights etc, I don't think she's an academic sort and I'm ok with that, she has many other incredible qualities, but I don't want her to flop her sats because I can't get my shit together.

I feel shit about it so would appreciate not getting a battering, although I know I'm in aibu which is sort of asking for it.

Not read all replies but just to say with my eldest dd I had a brilliant 16 year old girl who was a helper at her brownies - she spent an hour and a half on a Saturday doing spellings etc - we got a list from school of areas needing improvement and incorporated them over several sessions. In the last 30 minutes of each session they did crafts/dancing or whatever dd wanted to do. She loved having an older girl rather than a tutor as more fun and she learnt well and then was happy to do a bit each night with me after a few lessons. Other benefit was she was cheaper and the lovely girl got an excellent reference . I'm sure she did a better job than I would have done !! We then did a proper tutor for GCSEs as dd needed a bit of extra help- again so worthwhile !

We used to do times tables and spelling on the walk to school, little and often, can you link a bit of practice to other things you do regularly?

I do think a tutor is a good idea

But you will get better results also doing even a tiny bit each day.

Op you say you've bought books before but never managed to do them. Is she reluctant? Its important to make sure you aren't pitching it too hard, she should be able to manage them relatively independently while you get on with another job. Start an age bracket below at first if they are too hard & are off-putting. Better to get secure on earlier material and a strong base than to attempt to "catch up" at a fast pace which rarely works long term.

Yes my kids have additional support needs, 30 mins a week 1:1 with a specialist tutor who understands and caters to their learning style has made all the difference to them both. I’m not a teacher and could never have unravelled their learning styles much less be able to adapt teaching to suit their need. I outsource this part of parenting without a second thought.

Hello@emily198222 sorry to jump on the thread late, but I’m in exactly the same position and had been searching threads on this topic and found your one. Have you made any progress on getting a tutor? Is it helping?

Yanbu, tutoring isn't parenting. Teaching is a skill and many children don't respond well to their parents trying to teach them and most parents are not skilled teachers.

I don't think tutoring is outsourcing parenting – you're not a teacher, you're a mum!

Totally do this. Some of my tutees are in very similar situations. One to one support with a qualified teacher will help boost DC's confidence and motivation. Whilst once a week is not as beneficial and reading every day or practicing spellings and times tables throughout the week, it is better than not doing anything. Moreover,a good tutor will also supply you with ideas and methods to be done between sessions that help embed the learning. For example, I give out times tables games, get them writing times tables up and down the stairs, making times tables flowers etc. which the children actually enjoy doing so there is no battle to do extra school work at home.