Did your DC bang their head (against the cot) as a baby/toddler? What helped?

[user11290]

Hi,

As the title suggests, my DD (12M) has started banging her head quite a lot before going to sleep. She doesn't cry and enjoys doing it quite a bit but it's very distressing for me to watch.

My last resort is to buy a travel cot but prior to doing that I was wondering if this is a phase that she'll grow out of? Or should I be worried?

I spoke to the HV about it and she wasn't really that helpful to be honest.

Thanks

I remember my dd did this and we were so worried. She was around that age too. We used soft bumpers around it. I think she saw our reaction and panic and that made her do it more. So we just slowly distracted her and didn't give a reaction and it stopped after a while. My dd also liked to sleep in a tight curled position too so she was searching for the edges. So maybe it's something like that?

Bump

@Everlygreen thank you for your input ... Maybe! It's driving me insane so I called the HV about it and she's coming tomorrow to see what can be done. I feel nervous because I worry that someone will think I've inflicted an injury to her head or that more importantly she'll hurt herself badly

Change to a cot bed? Take side off cot?

Do steer clear of cot bumpers, they're a suffocation risk. My DD used to do it but was never upset so I think it sounded harder than it actually was.

@Keroppi it is a cot bed with the sides on but she's only 12 months so would she be ready for me to take the sides off?

Thanks

@KatieKat88 defo won't be buying bumpers for that reason. It does sound really loud which really scares me. I'm worried that the repeated action daily will cause her to injure herself

It's quite a common self-soothing behaviour at nighttime. DH used to do it and no long-lasting effects I can tell DD1 used to do similar but with her legs, lifting them up to thump back down on the mattress.

If you're worried about her hurting herself, something like the Next to Me Forever might work. I bought one for DD2 as she was a very early mobile and standing baby and I was worried about her being in the wooden cot. It worked really well, she's just moved into the toddler bed setup at 2.5. It has fabric sides.

It's a self soothing mechanism. I wouldn't worry but maybe put something in to settle her like a white noise machine or a black and white picture book.

My son did this and it started about 12m he's 5 on Christmas Day and he still does it occasionally if he's stressed or really tired, he has injured himself a few times, cuts to the head bruises etc and I didn't really find any solution tbh if there gonna do it they will find a place to do so, my son is going through an ASD diagnosis though the head banging/ rocking turned out to be him stimming to calm down but it can also just be completely normal baby/toddler behaviour too xx
It is distressing to watch sometimes, but if it's something that's helping I wouldn't worry too much, I remember it being way worse when he was teething his molars too so maybe keep that in mind

@Littlemiracles232504 thank you. She does rock a lot too.

Didn't you worry that someone may think you've inflicted a head injury or that repeatedly doing it would cause a bigger injury? She used to do it with her feet before she could properly sit up but I wasn't so worried as it wasn't really the same as hitting her head

I wouldn't take the side off her cot, most sleep expertsbadvise to keep them in the cot as long as possible. A 12month old opening her door and running around at night is the last thing you need!

Mine used to slam their legs down on the mattress, it only lasted a couple of months and they were quite a bit younger.

How does she fall asleep? Maybe she just needs a bit of extra support at night as it is generally a self soothing thing, it can just turn into a habit though.

We had this at bed time- sleep consultant said to ignore the behaviour and leave the room. Stopping within a few days of following that advice - and had been going on for months at this point! Basically we were rewarding the behaviour with our attention and therefore reinforcing the behaviour. Cot bumpers can be hazardous (suffocation hazard) so be careful if you're buying them.

@user11290 I used to worry people would judge me but once I'd explained to them what he was doing you'd be surprised how many parents were dealing with the same issues, the school know aswell and nursery were aware, if he went in with a bruise on his head his teachers knew he'd be in a grumbly mood that morning because he'd been up a lot in the night headbanging and they see it all the time, it's very common

@Littlemiracles232504 thank you for the reassurance. It really helps an overthinker like myself!

If I'm completely honest @RoamingGnome it probably is the reaction I give because when she does it I run upstairs and she'll see the door open and instantly turn around and smile almost as if to say 'It worked mummy's here!!'

If ignore it I worry that if she was to injure herself it would be seen as my fault by professionals :/ but I'm probably also enabling her doing it by giving her a reaction/reward!

@RabbitsEatPancakes I used to use white noise up until she was around 9ish months and stopped using it when I started to believe it was in fact possibly disturbing her but I'm starting wonder if she's struggling to soothe herself. I've introduced a comforter since this head banging and she's not really interested.
Anything else I can do? She already has a dummy but clearly that doesn't cut it for her anymore haha!