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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel intimidated and extremely angry over parking outside my house

37 replies

Sgrev · 10/12/2024 09:33

So I live along the road from a primary school, there is an inlet road going along my house and 5 others where there is a pavement and a one lane road. One of the male, surprise, parents keeps parking completely on the pavement, otherwise a car wouldn’t be able to get passed. This means children walking into school have to walk in the road to get round him. All parents have been told many times by the school and neighbours that they shouldn’t be parking there because of the children’s safety and ambulance/fire engine access, yet he still continues to park there. Every time he parks there he stares at me coming out of my house, on the way to take my son to school, he doesn’t attend the school opposite our house. The other week whilst driving out of my house he beeped his horn so I looked at him and he stuck his fingers up at me, whilst laughing. He still continues to park outside my house now going in line with my door so I have to look at him, I feel very intimidated and extremely angry. I have contacted the school, with them just saying there’ll mention parking rules in the newsletter and nothing else. What do you think I should do? Should I confront him and ask what his problem is, bit worried to do this to be honest, just try and ignore his intimidation tactics or something else? TIA for any replies

OP posts:
Baublingalong · 10/12/2024 09:34

If he's moving to threats and intimidation that makes this a police matter now

yukikata · 10/12/2024 09:35

I'd consider reporting him for harassment. He's deliberately parking outside of your house every day, purely for the purpose of intimidating you. That's not OK and it's illegal.

AuldCurmudgeon · 10/12/2024 09:35

If you're finding his behaviour threatening, then inform the police. Do you have a community Pc or similar? Intimidating behaviour like this is not on. He needs to be told.

Ohshutupalan · 10/12/2024 09:36

Police without a doubt. He is clearly not bothered about you so don't confront him.

yukikata · 10/12/2024 09:37

Also consider getting a ring doorbell if it can be angled in a place where it can catch him in frame. That way you will have evidence of any threatening behaviour.

Saz12 · 10/12/2024 09:39

Community PC. You've his registration number, he does it every day, and he is now deliberately hassling you.

I wouldnt confront him, but might be tempted to laugh at him very obviously.

VegTrug · 10/12/2024 09:47

This is the very definition of harassment.

However, I speak from experience when I say that you'll need to be very specific in your language when calling the police non-emergency line to report it. If you begin by mentioning the parking aspect, the call handler will interrupt and state that "parking is not a police issue" etc etc. You need to make it clear from the beginning that you wish to make a report of harassment and then just refer to the parking as part of the wider context.

Sorry if that sounded condescending or patronising but I was in a very similar situation once and the call handler completely shut me down before I could get across that I was actually reporting harassment and not a trespass issue! I had to then try to deal with it without Police intervention which was difficult to say the least!

Lurkingandlearning · 10/12/2024 09:48

I think it’s local councils that employ traffic wardens. I’d contact them and say they are sure to make money from this man on a daily basis. They may well send someone specifically for him. That might put him off parking there.

I really don’t think the police will do anything about one driver making rude gestures to another. And to be honest, given their appalling response to burglaries and other less newsworthy crimes, I sort of hope they won’t.

Mairzydotes · 10/12/2024 10:46

He is deliberately intimidating you.

Do you have a dh/ male friend/ family member/male neighbour who can be there instead of you one day?

Tulip32 · 10/12/2024 14:07

Check your local council website - ours has a phone numbet and an online link for reporting illegal parking. If so I would take a photo showing how he is parked and car registration and report.

SprostenGreen · 10/12/2024 14:53

VegTrug · 10/12/2024 09:47

This is the very definition of harassment.

However, I speak from experience when I say that you'll need to be very specific in your language when calling the police non-emergency line to report it. If you begin by mentioning the parking aspect, the call handler will interrupt and state that "parking is not a police issue" etc etc. You need to make it clear from the beginning that you wish to make a report of harassment and then just refer to the parking as part of the wider context.

Sorry if that sounded condescending or patronising but I was in a very similar situation once and the call handler completely shut me down before I could get across that I was actually reporting harassment and not a trespass issue! I had to then try to deal with it without Police intervention which was difficult to say the least!

Edited

This. We had similar opposite us and had to report harrassment.

In our case the woman who harrassed me car was parked legally outside my house and causing any issues of any sort. I did not and do not care who parks there. On the first day she parked there, I was coming out of my house with my son to take him to school. She didn’t see him, but saw me walking down the path. I wasn’t even looking at her when she screamed at me to get back inside and keep my opinions to myself. I was very polite and explained I was taking my son to school, and parking was none of my business as it’s a road without any parking restrictions people can park wherever they like. But she wanted a fight, so spend days and weeks glaring at me. When I did not respond, she just got more annoyed and started kicking over our wheelie bin on bin days etc, sticking her fingers up, yelling “bitch!”. Reported to the PCSO but before they could have a word she was never seen again. Think the family had to move on in a hurry. Bizarre experience, but we only got support from the PCSO when talking about her behaviour rather than parking. I did not, and still don’t, give a damn about anyone parking there.

Snowflakes1122 · 10/12/2024 15:10

Get a Ring doorbell, and report him for harassment.

Seems unhinged.

SinnerBoy · 10/12/2024 15:23

It's interesting that 16% of the voters her are pavement parkers, who think a man harassing a woman walking her child to school is acceptable!

I agree with the advice to report him to the Police. Photographic / video evidence would be good, if you feel confident enough. Could you set your video going just before leaving the house and walking out with your phone clutched to your chest?

yukikata · 10/12/2024 17:57

Lurkingandlearning · 10/12/2024 09:48

I think it’s local councils that employ traffic wardens. I’d contact them and say they are sure to make money from this man on a daily basis. They may well send someone specifically for him. That might put him off parking there.

I really don’t think the police will do anything about one driver making rude gestures to another. And to be honest, given their appalling response to burglaries and other less newsworthy crimes, I sort of hope they won’t.

Umm, this is not a case of 'one driver making rude gestures to another'.

This is a man parking outside of a woman's house daily, to intentionally intimidate her, staring at her, positioning himself in line with her door so she has to look at him.

That's not the same thing, at all.

Lurkingandlearning · 10/12/2024 23:10

yukikata · 10/12/2024 17:57

Umm, this is not a case of 'one driver making rude gestures to another'.

This is a man parking outside of a woman's house daily, to intentionally intimidate her, staring at her, positioning himself in line with her door so she has to look at him.

That's not the same thing, at all.

Show quote history

Well when you put it that way, I’m surprised he’s not already been arrested

SharpOpalNewt · 10/12/2024 23:16

Funny how every time he parks there he gets a flat tyre.

EauNeu · 10/12/2024 23:18

it's illegal to park on the pavement. plus harrasment. contact the local police

fashionqueen0123 · 10/12/2024 23:21

In my experience you need to contact a local councillor. Take photos of the car.
Get councillor to put forward the road for yellow lines.
This process takes about 1-2 years. Then when the lines are down ask the council to regularly send traffic wardens.
Police won’t come out for a car on the pavement and council will say police deal with traffic matters . So the this what I have done, and it’s worked.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 10/12/2024 23:21

VegTrug · 10/12/2024 09:47

This is the very definition of harassment.

However, I speak from experience when I say that you'll need to be very specific in your language when calling the police non-emergency line to report it. If you begin by mentioning the parking aspect, the call handler will interrupt and state that "parking is not a police issue" etc etc. You need to make it clear from the beginning that you wish to make a report of harassment and then just refer to the parking as part of the wider context.

Sorry if that sounded condescending or patronising but I was in a very similar situation once and the call handler completely shut me down before I could get across that I was actually reporting harassment and not a trespass issue! I had to then try to deal with it without Police intervention which was difficult to say the least!

Edited

This is good advice. The police will make every effort to wriggle out of doing anything useful, so you need to be clear that you (a woman) are being harassed and intimidated by a man who is coming to your street every day, making sure you see him, making offensive gestures etc.

They will still probably be useless if I'm honest.

asthecrowdwaschantingmore · 14/12/2024 16:06

I'd put a camera at your front door, film him/his shitty parking and intimidating behaviour, then contact the police with the footage. Make it indisputable.

Resilienceisimportant · 14/12/2024 16:24

I would go out every morning, take pictures or a video of him amd his car. If he asked me what I was doing I would say the police have asked me for evidence of his parking and harassment. Then I would laugh. But that’s just me…….

Ariela · 14/12/2024 16:36

Don't bother the school - get straight on to your community PCSO and report that he's parking like this daily and it's dangerous for the kids - send photos or ring doorbell footage - I'd buy one specially if you've not got one. They'll be around to ticket very qiuickly.

Gardenbird123 · 14/12/2024 16:38

Can you get some cones and cone off the area so he can't park there? Or park your car there?

Nanny0gg · 14/12/2024 18:01

Lurkingandlearning · 10/12/2024 09:48

I think it’s local councils that employ traffic wardens. I’d contact them and say they are sure to make money from this man on a daily basis. They may well send someone specifically for him. That might put him off parking there.

I really don’t think the police will do anything about one driver making rude gestures to another. And to be honest, given their appalling response to burglaries and other less newsworthy crimes, I sort of hope they won’t.

She's not driving - she's coming out of her house!!

Julimia · 14/12/2024 23:05

School staff are played to teach not to be traffic wardens. Please contact the police.