Share the cake?

[StrongerThanThem]

A friend I see once a year moved an hour from me. She invited me over to meet her daughter. I drove over and since it's her birthday I brought her gifts and an expensive specialty cake I knew she would love. She took it thanked me, offered me something to drink but never cut it? Two hours into the visit her daughter says they have to leave to go shopping. They got up and head to the door?? She told me she loved everything and her daughter too. She never offered me a snack and told me they were going to shop and go out for a fancy dinner. I had asked when we planned this since we were meeting over lunchtime if she wanted to go out. I find this to be rude. She's been down on her luck a few times and I've sent her cash. Now I feel like a chump.

I wouldn't want cake or a snack either if I was going out to dinner.

Did she invite you for lunch?

She invited me over at noon, dinner was at 5:30.

She invited me over to meet her daughter.

I’m confused, how old is the daughter? What was the purpose of you meeting her?

From the start it sounded like she was newborn but obviously not if she can talk about shopping.

She could have offered you a slice of cake, but she didn’t have to. If you only see her once a year and have never met her (assuming) teen/grown up daughter then you’re not as close as you think. Cut your losses.

Ahh ok, in that case I would've asked about lunch before I came over.

Asked if she wanted me to bring some and then let her take it from there.

I don't see the cake as an issue at all though.

I asked about going out to lunch since she invited me over at lunchtime. She said she didn't want to go out since later that night they'd go to dinner. Her daughter is in her 40s and lives out of state, so we had never met. In my home if I invite you over I always have food and drinks. It was always that way growing up in our house. Especially if you drove a distance to see us.

Not very hospitable ,is it? I'm sure you'll have loads of posters saying it's perfectly normal to not offer food at lunch time but I suspect these might be the same posters who never answer their door when someone knocks either😉

I would have offered a sandwich or something if I'd invited you over at lunchtime. If you're good friends and you were hungry, you could have asked can I have a sandwich or some toast? I would ask in a friends house if I was hungry!

Cancel the annual visit OP.
Very inhospitable for someone who's made a 2 hour round trip to see you on a pre-arranged visit.
Don't give her any more money no matter what the sob story.

I went over at noon, dinner was at 5:30.

It sounds a bit lacking in etiquette to me on a few fronts. If someone comes over at 12, you offer lunch. If someone brings food, including cake, you would normally offer to cut it and serve some. If someone is coming from a distance, you would normally indicate if you're going to have to leave at a specific time (though 2 hours isn't cutting it TOO short).