Aibu to keep my daughter off school?

[Lilacbluewaters]

I am so stressed and this is weighing heavy on my chest. My daughter who is nearly 6 has struggled ever since starting school both mentally and academically. During the spring/summer this year she completely shut down. Her tics were consuming her, she was just a shell of herself so I took the leap and de registered her from school as they were offering absolutely no support for her as they said she was fine in school. Since this time we have moved house (we were living in a very mouldy house and it was not doing any of us good).
we live in a new area now and my daughter was feeling a bit lonely as it is very hard to socialise home educated kids. So we had a look around the schools in the area and one of the best is full so she couldn’t get in there but she has been put on a waiting list.
so she started school 3 weeks ago and I thought things might be okay but she is breaking down again. She’s not eating and drinking enough, her tics are getting worse, she is going from extreme highs to lows. She’s will sit in silence and just burst into tears. She is really struggling and doesn’t quite understand herself how she is feeling. She finds it hard that not everyone wants to play with her but then she contradicts herself and says she likes to play alone. Her sleep is another story, now she’s back at school she must be getting only 7ish hours and she is exhausted. I don’t know how she can be learning anything in school because she is half asleep.
I have kept her off today and the school office were just so pressuring saying “I urge you to bring her in” but I said no that she is not coping and I don’t want to have to pull her out again. Am I in the wrong here?
what do I even do, where do I stand here? Can I keep her off school? I am worrying about her education but also how can she be learning in this state. I have read online the local authority have to provide an education when a child is out of school but how accessible is this? Anyone been through anything like this?

Definitely request an EHCNA and in the meantime, section 19 provision.

Even if parents can’t afford independent assessments, it is still worth pursuing an appeal. If you have to appeal, need independent assessments but can’t afford them and aren’t eligible for legal aid (which can fund assessments) there are charities who can help such as Parents in Need.

If DD can’t attend school full time, you can request an expedited hearing if you have to appeal to SENDIST.

Hi thanks for the post, do I request a ehcna through the school? For the section 19, how do I go about that? Do I contact the school or the local authority?

The symptoms being displayed could be triggered by causes such as infection and mould for example.Also many PANS PANDAS children are ND. Please do look into all aspects of this thoroughly. Other families are an excellent resource for info as they have already learnt that unfortunately schools, local authorities, CAMHS, NHS are not necessarily at all.

You can request an EHCNA and s19 provision from the LA. On their website, IPSEA has model letters you can use for both.

I really recommend you pay for this webinar from Empowering Families: https://empowering-families-events.thinkific.com/courses/education-health-and-care-needs-assessments-prerecorded
I think it's £10 and it will give you a really good introduction to the whole process, plus a load of template letters etc.
I don't work for them - promise! But I've used their stuff and it's great.

I really recommend you pay for this webinar from Empowering Families: https://empowering-families-events.thinkific.com/courses/education-health-and-care-needs-assessments-prerecorded
I think it's £10 and it will give you a really good introduction to the whole process, plus a load of template letters etc.
I don't work for them - promise! But I've used their stuff and it's great.

OP, has your child been assessed for tourettes?

No but hoping when we see a paediatrician they can advise us further. Her dad has Tourette’s so I do think her tics are probably Tourette’s

Definitely get her assessed. It sounds like the schools are not meeting her needs. If she's likely to have it, a diagnosis will at least give you fuel to get an ehcp, and mean that the school has to make reasonable adjustments to help her cope, because they're clearly not doing that now. :(

You could also speak to an organisation like Tourettes Action. I'm sure they would have lots of really good advice.

EHCPs are based on needs, not diagnosis.

Yes. But a diagnosis underlines the need.

My point was OP doesn’t need to wait for a diagnosis before pursuing an EHCP because they aren’t based on diagnosis.

Agreed. But my point is also valid.

Personally, I'd apply for both. Because she has a child who is being massively let down by the education system.

I didn’t say your point wasn’t valid . I was merely pointing out EHCPs are based on needs, not diagnosis. Therefore OP does not need to wait for a diagnosis.

Sounds almost identical to my DC, who is autistic. I was misdiagnosed with Tourette’s as a child and I’m autistic too (turns out the “tics” were actually stimming). I’d advise reading up on how autism presents in girls in particular, and definitely request a meeting with the school senco. IME it’s another case of the parent who shouts the loudest getting the help, unfortunately. Do apply for DLA as well as you don’t need a diagnosis for this (the charity Contact have a useful guide to the process). It’s possible to get an EHCP without spending any money on reports - I managed this when I applied as a parent because school refused (be prepared to appeal though). Good luck.