To ask for recommendations for a thirteen year old boy who is autistic or is this an impossible ask without knowing him?

[MmeHennyPenny]

Would this be a weird thing to do?
He’s the child of a work associate. The father has been helpful to me this year, during the course of my work, and rather than buy a gift for him, which might embarrass him I wondered about buying something for his son. But what?
His son has had to be taken out of school this year due to being bullied. He sounds like a lovely boy.
Or should I just buy him, an impersonal bottle of Scotch? The father I mean!

I'd buy the scotch for the father.

It's very hard to buy for any 13 year old, even ones you do know.

And this boy, havinautusm, could mean anything from him wanting a light up toy like a toddler, to wanting a rare phd level text on his favourite topic, or just the exact same thing any 13 year old would like -but nobody know what 13 year olds like!

It is impossible, but having said that, I have never known a kid that age not enjoy the What If book. So a bottle of scotch and the book for the kid might be a nice touch.

It's a minefield op.
I have a teenage ASD child and he is the geekiest person ever and there are a world of things you could buy him. But he only wants the EXACT thing on his amazon list, or it makes him feel very anxious.

I'd buy a bottle of booze.

I think that's a lovely idea! But....from my experience, autistic kids tend to have quite specific interests. My son and several of my friends sons are autistic, the one thing all of them have taken an interest in when at my house is my sons Guinness book of world records.

Whereas my son wouldn't look at that as it's a book and he doesn't do books 😂

Cinema tickets and popcorn?

This would be nice - something father and son can do together. Voucher so they can choose their own film

Buy the booze. The poor man’s life is hard enough with that to cope with at home. He deserves it!

See my autistic son wouldn't go to a cinema. Too much sensory overload, and he cant manage the relaxed performances as people don't obey the rules and move about /yelp.

This is why a present for dad is better. All 13 year olds have personalities and noone knows how the autusm impacts this particular 13 year old.

Until I saw @Frowningprovidence post, I would have said the cinema voucher was a good idea, but of course, many people don't want to go to the cinema.

I always worry about booze, in case the recipient is a recovering alcoholic or just doesn't drink and I'm unaware of this.

I know there's issues with them and they seem a bit marmite on here, but would a multi retailer voucher be suitable? Sometimes you can get them for shopping centres, so they can be used in any of the shops, restaurants or leisure facilities within the shopping centre?

The voucher and a nice card thanking him for his help 'and here's a little something for you to buy a treat for you/your family' might go down well and allow him to use it as he sees fit?

Lovely thought, but I’d say don’t do it unless you know the child well. I have an autistic son. He’d be absolutely freaked out getting a gift from an acquaintance of mine who he doesn’t know - he would worry and ask for hours about who they were, why they got him something, what should he do in return, should he thank them, does he have to buy them a gift, why did they think of him….

Plus he only likes receiving things he has asked for. He has a short and very specific list of things he wants and has zero interest in surprises or other people’s suggestions. Even things you’d think all kids would like, like popcorn or sweets or chocolate is difficult because he has such a limited diet.

If someone gave me a generic gift for him I wouldn’t even pass it on to my son, it’d just be donated. I’d thank the giver for their kindness and know they meant well, but it would actually just create another thing for me to have to deal with. Buy the father something - or even just write a nice thank you card.

Such a lovely idea OP.
My autistic teenage son would LOVE an Amazon gift voucher!

OP this is such a lovely idea. An Amazon voucher is pretty fail-safe. Otherwise ask the Dad what his son is interested in then come back to the thread for more specific ideas?

Its a massive spectrum.And all.autistic children are.different mine,would love Blu, tac and balls of wool!

My eldest DGS is 12 and autistic. I buy him books and tops or hoodies to wear.

Got to agree that this is a minefield.

My 13 yo autistic sons interests are miku, titanic, space, trains, planes, and animation. And he switches between them. So we always know something we can get him.

However, my nephew's current one is Eminem and his presents MUST be relevant or chocolate.

An Amazon voucher for the son and whisky for dad works!

PPs have mentioned scotch for the dad - but not everyone drinks

I’d get the scotch but a comic or two and something like a yo-yo and selection box for the child, if he’s had a tough year a random present might at least make him smile

What the fuck ??

Most.people,do outside of mumsnet land,and,even if they don't they will.probably keep.It for visitors,I think its,fine as,a,generic Thank you
Its,like giving a,box,of chocolate,s I personally don't really eat chocolate,but I would be greatful, And share it with others.

Could you just buy a big tin of biscuits for the family?

Actually I find my autistic son really easy to it for as he always has a Special Interest …. If you don’t want to ask his dad is he has a special passion just go the choccy route