Friends Christmas Presents Dilemma

[ToGiftOrNotToGift]

We are a group of friends who have exchanged (small/low value) gifts for all the years we have known each other. At our last get-together, one of them gave Christmas cards to everyone. Am I right in thinking that she will have done this because she no longer wants to exchange gifts?

My dilemma: I have already bought and wrapped presents for everyone... So what do I do when we meet next - just give cards, or still hand out my little presents? I know that this particular friend would absolutely love what I got her!

What would you all do...
You are being unreasonable - do NOT give the presents
You are NOT being unreasonable - hand them out anyway

Give the gifts, then reassess next year based on what happens this year.

If you have a WhatsApp group of maybe refer to the "gift exchange" and see if she says anything. Or maybe "are we doing a gift exchange this year? I have presents for you all but I've realised with the cost of living we might need to reassess..." so that gives her a an opportunity to say something if she needs to?

No WhatsApp group. One doesn't even do emails.

I have zero expectation of getting presents in return. I just would not want my friend to feel awkward because she didn't get me anything.

I would still give the gift.

If she feels awkward, and didn't get you one, well its really on her! If things were tight, SHE should have said something when handing out the cards- 'sorry guys, this year its a bit tricky, so I'll only be giving cards'

As nothing has been said, I would assume its the same as every year and maybe she has still planned a gift?

If your friend wants to avoid awkwardness she really should have let you know of her intentions, don't overthink it. If you don't receive a present from her this year, don't give her one next year.

Everyone is cutting down these days, maybe eventually your friends will all stop, but for now just carry on doing what you enjoy.

You bought her a gift knowing she didn't do gifts last Christmas. That implies that you don't care if she just gives cards again. If it's the other friends you are more concerned about then just give the gifts this year as you already have them and reassess next year.

I'm a little worried that the rest of the group may consider my friend handing out cards early as a signal not to give presents anymore. So I might end up being the only one handing out gifts!

You bought her a gift knowing she didn't do gifts last Christmas

You misunderstood - this happened last week. We exchanged gifts last year and every year before.

I still don't understand tbh. Don't you all exchange gifts or cards on the same day you meet up? How do you know she hadn't given out cards now and will give gifts later? Honestly I'd just speak to each other and check or as you have gone to the trouble of choosing and buying them just give them out anyway.

To be fair, it was not clear from the OP whether the "last get together" was last Christmas or last week.

To be honest I wouldn't have thought anything of her handing out cards. I would see this as separate to presents particularly as there will be another get together (i think?) before Christmas.

If exchanging gifts is normal and she hasn't said she doesn't wish to participate this year then carry on as normal. It's really on her to communicate she wants something different- But if she does give no gifts, you'll know for next year.

I guess I'll hand out the gifts and hope no one feels awkward...

I am possibly overthinking this?