Ds is 18. I'm anxious and on eggshells around him. He has ADHD and has always been volatile. He sometimes leaves the house swearing and shouting as he walks down the street, if he is upset about something. It's intimidating and embarrassing.
I call him in the evening when it's late because I've been so concerned about him hanging with a group of teenagers who use MD and weed. He's also been getting involved with a 16 year old. It's just phone calls but it's really affected his behaviour. The girl is being manipulative and has been verbally abusive to him. His cousin has seen some of the messages she's sent and tried to warn him.
I was just in the kitchen this evening and he got out of the shower and had a sudden rant at me. Shouting to get off his case etc. His shouting makes me feel afraid. He had been on the phone to her earlier and obviously was then taking out his anger on me.
Most nights he doesn't sleep and I can't get any rest until 4am because he is talking constantly on the phone and up and down stairs for cold drinks, toilet etc. If I get up to tell him to stop talking he just says "oh whatever. Well maybe throw me out then". I just get passive aggressive responses. He has prescribed melatonin but refuses to take it.
He also denies he is talking to anyone at night and says I'm making it up (gaslighting me).
A couple of evenings ago he went out and then was messaging friends saying he wanted to kill himself because no one cares. His auntie was close to where he was, so she went to pick him up and he was sat with a couple of friends casually smoking weed ! Several of his friends called me and told me that he had said all sorts of ridiculous made up lies to them. He tells them all kinda of lies, for example - the police have been after him/he's been in a police cell/ people have been chasing after him. Really strange things ! Maybe it is attention seeking or some sort of fantasy? I just don't understand.
He's even messaged friends sometimes saying that he's sat on a bridge, when he's been at home safe in bed !
For my wellbeing I'm switching off because he's totally taking over.
It's constant issues every day. .I have tried to help him get work but he has refused to turn up to a course he asked to do. (3 times consecutively.) He can't even be bothered to show up to jobcentre appointments.
He did go on a course for 6 months where they built a CV and he had a job placement at a warehouse. But zero effort since then. He says he wants to be a professional footballer and that I have no faith in him. Obviously he isn't going to be a pro footballer and needs a job. He plays football several times a week socially and seems to have a delusion of being like a football star.
He "loses" his UC money. £200 a month is gone within one week. He always wants to draw it all out immediately and puts the cash in his bedroom. He then says that his money is lost?!?? He complains it's not enough money to last a month.
I think he just buys weed etc but I can't prove it.