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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband changed the locks.

12 replies

Kickers567 · 08/12/2024 15:49

I posted a few days ago about my husband of 15 years (with psychosis) leaving me because he can't cope with my physical disability.

I went to stay at my mum's for a few days as I was so upset.

Now he has illegally changed the locks on our Council property. It's in his name but the housing person told me because we are married it's legally both of our home.

Everything is so difficult right now.

OP posts:
ThatUniqueFox · 08/12/2024 15:49

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

DandyTealSeal · 08/12/2024 15:50

I wouldn’t have thought it is both if yours as it’s a legal contract with only his name on it.

Nerdles · 08/12/2024 15:52

I don’t know why tje housing officer told you that because it is not true at all

Onthesideofthespiders · 08/12/2024 15:55

Ignore the posters above who don’t know what they’re talking about. You’re married so you have rights to the marital home, whether you own it or not, and whether or not your name is on the lease.

Wait till he is at work, call out a different locksmith and gain entry. Don’t leave the property again until you’ve got all your stuff that you need etc and then you can decide if you’re moving out or not, but he can’t kick you out.

Swissrollover · 08/12/2024 15:58

Your housing officer is correct. What do you want to happen, as you both have the right to the home? Would you be safe if living there together? (I didn't see previous post.)

Nerdles · 08/12/2024 16:02

The council told my husband he had to leave my council house when we split up and he refused to leave.
Ultimately, I had to have the police remove him.

Onthesideofthespiders · 08/12/2024 16:06

Nerdles · 08/12/2024 16:02

The council told my husband he had to leave my council house when we split up and he refused to leave.
Ultimately, I had to have the police remove him.

Police won’t remove anyone from their home unless there has been a domestic incident. So it’s not relevant to the OP. If you’re saying the police removed him from the marital home when there wasn’t any kind of violence or domestic abuse then what you’re saying just isn’t true.

Kickers567 · 08/12/2024 16:37

No children involved thank goodness.

I wanted to make things work but not anymore. I can't believe he has done this after all the love and support I have given him.

At the moment I just want access to my stuff. My id is in the flat. Loads of therapy equipment. Medications.

I don't know what to do about moving forward. I wanted to stay in the flat, as I've done so much work on it over the years and it feels like far to stressful and physically difficult to move.

OP posts:
DoreenonTill8 · 08/12/2024 16:38

Do you even want to live with him again?

Noseybookworm · 08/12/2024 16:54

If you want to stay in the flat, can you make the case to the council to rehouse him? Are there adaptations made for your disability in the house? If he has illegally locked you out, you should contact the police and they should assist you to access the property for your essential items. Can you speak to Womens Aid and CAB? I hope you can get this sorted out OP, if you feel in danger please do speak to the police.

pikkumyy77 · 08/12/2024 16:58

If he is prone to psychosis you and social services ought to be concerned that he is decompensating.

Call everyone and anyone for help, get back in the flat, and consult a lawyer about whether you can force him out of the flat.

DoreenonTill8 · 08/12/2024 17:33

If the council are aware that he has mental health difficulties to the extent op is advising, they have just as much a duty of care to him, so i don't think they would make him leave the property he has the tenancy for.
The above advice re women's aid is good, also approaching housing yourself re needing housing.
Do you know of someone he trusts that he'd allow to collect your meds?

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