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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To put in a complaint with Royal Mail...

21 replies

TotorosBigToe · 08/12/2024 14:47

Let me preface this by saying I think Royal Mail do an amazing job, especially at such a busy time of year. My regular postman is nothing short of incredible.

However...

Last night I had a parcel delivered quite late by a postman I had not met before. Not a problem. He takes a photo of the parcel and we wish each other a good evening. Fine.

Not even two minutes later, he comes back and says that he took a photo of the wrong part of the label and can he take another one. Seems like a genuine mistake, so he takes the pic and is on his way again.

Ten minutes later he's back. This time saying I need to write my name on an app to confirm I've received it. He's super apologetic and I give him the benefit of the doubt, assuming he's temp staff over the Christmas period. I put my name in the app, thinking that's the end of it.

He then tries to start a conversation, asking about my personal life. When I realise he's trying to find out if I live alone, I change the conversation and ask if he has many more parcels to deliver and then say I won't keep him any longer, so he can get back to work.

By this point it's really quite late, I'm in my pajamas alone and feeling uneasy about the whole interaction, so make sure I've double locked the door. Watch I'm a Celeb on catch up and then go to bed.

This morning I've woken up to a "Sorry we missed you" card with just a mobile number scribbled over it in sharpie, which means he must have returned a fourth time after 10pm.

Would I be unreasonable to make a complaint to Royal Mail about this? I feel like it's unprofessional at best and predatory at worst.

I'm autistic, so not sure if I've done something wrong in these interactions to cause this, but in any event feel completely uncomfortable with the situation.

Any advice would be very welcome!

OP posts:
ohyesido · 08/12/2024 14:51

Definitely report this, it sounds like he was trying his luck

Darlingbudofmay · 08/12/2024 14:53

Report. Definitely unprofessional

Smittenkitchen · 08/12/2024 14:56

Unprofessional, predatory and intimidating behaviour. Absolutely make a complaint if you feel able. I'm sure you did absolutely nothing to incite this, it's all on him.

Marmiteandmilk · 08/12/2024 14:56

Report and if you can afford I’d get a cheap doorbell cam or similar

MJconfessions · 08/12/2024 15:02

This is really creepy imo. I just submitted a complaint to them over a slightly similar matter.

I think postmen delivering mail just simply shouldn’t try it on with residents. It’s completely inappropriate as chances are you’re not interested, and here the male keeps returning and being persistent so it’s also dangerous. From their job, they know your name, address, can suss out your security measures or whether you live alone. It’s unnerving.

He’s abusing Royal Mail’s tools. Imagine you contacted that number thinking there’s an issue with your post because it’s on an official Royal Mail card, you think it’s an official Royal Mail number, just to find this creep possibly trying it on with you.

I would be suspicious of what he was photographing. This might sound morbid but was something attractive about you visible and was that what he was trying to capture? Or was he trying to take a photo of your house to remember the locks or something? Was it the same phone he used for the delivery photo the 2nd time? Has Royal Mail’s website updated with the delivery photo, if so which one was used? What app was it he asked you to use the third time? Why were they delivering at 10pm? I’d expect Royal Mail to answer all those questions.

MJconfessions · 08/12/2024 15:07

Also you really didn’t need to preface your post, the “I support Royal Mail disclaimer” wasn’t necessary.

I think because you rejected him by saying he must be busy with work so you won’t keep him, he left his number. He didn’t respect your boundary and didn’t pick up on your social cues (likely on purpose). He shouldn’t be in that job.

Judgejudysno1fan · 08/12/2024 15:09

He sounds like a real creep. You should have mentioned a pretend husband who's 6 foot tall and 6 foot wide and does karate and martial arts and eats alligators for lunch, while they're alive

CustardySergeant · 08/12/2024 15:21

Judgejudysno1fan · 08/12/2024 15:09

He sounds like a real creep. You should have mentioned a pretend husband who's 6 foot tall and 6 foot wide and does karate and martial arts and eats alligators for lunch, while they're alive

I'd leave out the "while they're alive" or he'll think it's far-fetched. 😉

FancyBrickHam · 08/12/2024 15:34

Marmiteandmilk · 08/12/2024 14:56

Report and if you can afford I’d get a cheap doorbell cam or similar

They are really a god send

hazelnutvanillalatte · 08/12/2024 15:48

RM is shit. Multiple times I've paid for 24 hour delivery for essential items (think antibiotics) and it hasn't come for days, with the only option being 'submit a complaint but be aware you won't get a response'

Skyrainlight · 08/12/2024 15:53

That's beyond creepy, I would definitely report it..

WillimNot · 08/12/2024 15:57

I'd report it but I think I would also flag with 101 as well. The whole repeated visits/photos and then leaving a card when the house was dark is off.
Look at that cab driver in London. Or the police officers done for all sorts. We don't report pred behaviour enough, its why when someone is arrested more people come out and say they were victims too. We see a uniform and think they're fine. Not necessarily the case.

LisaD1 · 08/12/2024 15:59

In my experience they won’t care. I reported a driver who added a picture of their arse to a proof of delivery. Plenty of emails exchanged which they just said I was mistaken, every person I showed confirmed it was an arse!

Skyrainlight · 08/12/2024 16:17

WillimNot · 08/12/2024 15:57

I'd report it but I think I would also flag with 101 as well. The whole repeated visits/photos and then leaving a card when the house was dark is off.
Look at that cab driver in London. Or the police officers done for all sorts. We don't report pred behaviour enough, its why when someone is arrested more people come out and say they were victims too. We see a uniform and think they're fine. Not necessarily the case.

Great idea reporting to 101 especially since you have the mobile number as proof. The guy may have other reports against him too.

Prescottdanni123 · 08/12/2024 16:19

Yep, definitely report. That is not normal.

In future, if you think anyone is trying to figure out if you live alone, make up a boyfriend/husband.

TheDowagerCountessofPembroke · 08/12/2024 16:40

Report. And if you get a brush off I’d splash it all over local Facebook pages.

Sonowimbackfromouterspace · 08/12/2024 17:15

LisaD1 · 08/12/2024 15:59

In my experience they won’t care. I reported a driver who added a picture of their arse to a proof of delivery. Plenty of emails exchanged which they just said I was mistaken, every person I showed confirmed it was an arse!

😂😂😂

TotorosBigToe · 08/12/2024 17:19

Thank you everyone for replying.

A few points:

  • I'll 100% be putting up a cheap doorbell camera, although it wouldn't have helped last night as the lights in the communal area of my flats are broken. Other than the light coming out from my flat, it was pitch black.
  • Wish I had thought to make up a boyfriend, but part of me feels like why should I have to? I'm in my own home, minding my own business.
  • Thankfully, I was wearing an ankle-length Oodie-type thing, so no chance of any inappropriate photographs being taken. Interestingly, on the tracking there is no photo available, despite him taking two.

On your kind advice, I've contacted Royal Mail and the police. The police were very quick to get back to me and say it's not a police issue, so I can't imagine Royal Mail taking it any more seriously...

I'm just worried he'll come back and ask why I haven't called him. Mumsnet cliché, I know, but with my autism I'm not the best at opening the door/small talk as it is.

To put in a complaint with Royal Mail...
OP posts:
Jostuki · 08/12/2024 17:39

I'd be writing his number wherever I could in public places -

For a good time call Postman Pat on
07981 135 678

Marmiteandmilk · 08/12/2024 17:53

“lthough it wouldn't have helped last night as the lights in the communal area of my flats are broken. Other than the light coming out from my flat, it was pitch black”
Lots of them have night vision, my place is pitch black but mine (eufy) picks up everything and would obviously pick up the audio too.

SqueezeItOut · 08/12/2024 18:42

Sorry that you have experienced this OP. FWIW, I have noticed that companies are far more responsive when you complain publicly/visibly on social media.

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