My life is a constant cacophony of noise and I can’t fucking take it anymore.

[AngeloMysterioso]

It’s just incessant.

Three DS’s aged 5, 3 and 1. Currently living in a very cramped two bedroom flat (we’re trying to move).

Every day, from the moment I wake up, the noise is constant. Usually the first thing I hear when I wake is DS1 and 2 fighting- just high pitched squeals, screams and wailing. This racket is the soundtrack to my day, we rarely go more than a few minutes without them starting to fight over something. They both like to play with train sets, so they’ll fight over a particular train or bit of track or where something or other should go. If they aren’t fighting, they’re making “train noises” which is basically a variety of high pitched hoots and whistles. At some point DS3 might decide he’d like to join in and he’ll pick up a train or a bit of track, cue more wailing and squealing, then they’ll snatch it back off him and he starts crying. If they’re not doing that, they’re banging toys- on the wall, on the radiator, on their toy box, on other toys. Then whenever DS1 is feeling happy about something he jumps up and down, so you get the thudding on the floor.

Weekends just fill me with dread now- we’re all at home, the weather is fucking awful so everyone is cooped up indoors, and all they’ve done is scream at each other all fucking morning. Truly, I can’t take anymore. I am this close to losing my shit. I work nights, I’m exhausted, and I just long for peace.

Buy decent waterproofs and go out, unless it's extreme weather (red warning) kids are always better for getting out

When you have small DC, that's life OP. It's shit! I remember saying to DH that it had been X number of years since I'd woken up to silence, rather the sound of crying or shouting. It does end. At some point, you'll get peace and quiet again.

Where is your partner? You need to take shifts or divide and conquer.

When my DC finally went to school/ nursery I loved the silence. Now decades later I still relish the silence and find noisy gatherings really hard.

But as above, get them out.

My heart goes out to you, honestly. I’m in a bigger property but also have loud boys and it’s alot. Are you getting any time to yourself?

Do you have a partner? Can one of you play with the 5yr old and one the 3yr old. Failing that can you take turns with both? I know you have a 1yr old as well so I respect that it’s difficult.

Weathers shit but provided it isn’t dangerous wrap them up and get them out to burn off energy and have a good run around, I find that can really help. I know it can be hard to feel motivated to do this when you’re already over stimulated but honestly it does help. I find the more involved I get with the kids the easier it actually is to handle and what they need is my attention.

I feel for you!! Buy loop ear plugs or ask for them for xmas. They turn down the noise to a hum. Find a room in the house to take 5 min silence breaks to get your fight or flight response down. Can you get your partner to do 15 min walks with them so you can get a break?

They do grow up and then hide silently in their rooms. Hang in there.

If you are working nights they need to be in childcare by day so you can rest. You cannot work nights and then be awake and dealing with the without a proper rest.

What are their consequences for being too noisy?

I sympathise — I’ve become massively more noise sensitive since having children and it hasn’t gone away even though they’re older now. It sort of rewires your brain and the relentless noise can tip you into constant fight or flight mode — it’s really challenging.

Noise cancelling headphones with a medium setting will take the edge off although you obviously need to judge it according to the situation and bear safety in mind. Loop earplugs I haven’t tried but they sound good too.

And it isn’t just you! What you’re experiencing is a widely recognised thing and it’s legitimate that you are struggling with it. Good luck

Waterproofs (all in one type) wellies, and go puddle jumping. To the park. To any outdoor space to let off steam, every day if you can.

I'm extremely sensitive to noise, people make so much bloody noise.

Look at loop ear plugs, there are various strengths so you can find ones that deaden the noise for when you need to hear and get some silent ones for when the kids are in someone else's care.

Also agree with getting them out. A gated play area is ideal so they can make their noise well away from you.

I feel you, also 3 children ranging from 2-9. And also a dog that likes to join in the noise-scape

The constant bickering and noise is unbelievable. The oldest one overstimulates the whole house.

We’ve just put a TV in their toyroom and that’s helped a bit. We can send one out there for a bit of chill time when everyone gets too worked up

I've also asked for some loop switch earplugs for Christmas as aside from the house noise, the arguing and the random screaming noises while I’m driving is going to cause a crash someday.

Taking them out on soggy days in waterproofs would not work here, they would just all whine at me they wanted to go home

When they are playing quietly give them lots of praise and say how much you enjoy it.

If you going all guns blazing when they're being noisy they may see that as the only attention they get and it's better to be shouted at than be ignored.

Yeah we’ve had scary strong winds here over the weekend and my kids bloody hate cold wet weather, so the stick em puddle suits and go for a walk thing wouldn’t work.

I do praise them when they play nicely together (which is a rarity) but it’s getting g to the point where sometimes the noise is physically painful. DS2 in particular has this scream that is so piercing and high pitched it could smash glass.

I’ve tried loop ear plugs but ended up just having to take them out because I couldn’t hear whenever anyone was trying to talk to me.

Are you getting enough sleep? I used to work nights and look after my children during the day. At the time I thought I was coping but looking back I was sleep deprived and very run down. But I realise that sometimes it's there's no choice.

I felt like that when mine were young DH "worked" long hours - bizarrely enough I now miss it.

Good God I could’ve written this OP myself bar a few details. DD is 6 and DS is 2 and DH has just taken them out. I’m sat here actually soaking in a few precious minutes when there isn’t a piercing, loud assault on my eardrums. I exist with a low level headache due to the relentless screaming, shouting, whining, crying and laughing of my kids, intermingled with my own voice constantly saying ‘GET DOWN FROM THERE’ ‘LEAVE HIM/HER ALONE’ ‘PUT THAT BACK’ ‘STOP OR THERE WILL BE AN ACCIDENT’. I can’t turn my back for 5 minutes without a crash followed by an ear splitting scream. I feel like my nervous system is shredded from being constantly on edge as my kids fight, wind each other up, fall over… arghhhh.

I hate being this awful shouty mum but my kids don’t chill EVER. Every single game includes climbing something, snatching toys off each other, both trying to scramble into the same small area until one bumps their head and cries…

I love them so much but OMG I’m drained by Sunday afternoon

I know this is an oldish thread but do you mind if I ask what age your children calmed the f down? I’m currently going through this with DD (6) and DS (nearly 3) and I feel utterly desperate. Neither of them ‘play’ without heavy steering and input, and when they do it’s for 10 minutes at most. The rest of the time they’re fighting, screaming, crying, banging doors, throwing toys onto the wooden floor, or agitating the dog. The weekend days just feel so long as it’s either sit and watch total carnage and a probable injury take place, or constantly and relentlessly engage with them which tbh just makes them even less able to do anything independently. I wake to the sound of screaming at 6am and it doesn’t stop until 8pm, I’m worn out