To ask if my 16 month old is behaving developmentally normal?

[Cheesetoastiees]

Posting for traffic as quite stressed. I’ve recently started a new job which involves night work. I thought my 16 month old would be okay as his dad can settle him at night. He still has frequent night wakes.

It’s been an absolute disaster once point I’m not looking for another job as I can’t leave them in this situation. He howls/screams to the point he’s hoarse when he talks the next day. He cried for 5 hours straight.
It’s strange as DH has taken all night wakes before when I’ve been home and settled him fine. He must know I’m not there . I feel awful working knowing they’re both struggling.
DH has tried absolutely every trick in the book and tiring him out in the day. It’s just not working so I’ll be getting another position,
Is this normal behaviour from my DS, is it normal to scream/cry for so long and not settle just because I’m not there? It’s screeching crying, it’s horrendous and goes on for hours.
He is very, very attached to me but developmentally meeting all milestones. Happily goes and talks to other people but usually wants me for comfort. He’s fine during the day if I’m not there to be comforted by other people he knows.

Is the crying/screaming normal behaviour or is it something more? I’m making changes because it breaks my heart he’s so distressed.

What is your husband doing to settle him? Is he leaving him to scream for five hours or cuddling him to sleep? There’s nothing wrong with cuddling to sleep at this age, he’s still very young. Yes your son will know you’re out there butcher will get used to it especially if dad is responsive and not leaving him to cry. But yes ultimately maybe look for another job

Is he crying for five hours while being cuddled?

What is your other half doing at night? Something is not quite right there with them settling down routine if tbe baby is in such distress.

Also, are you inadvertently reinforcing negative patterns when you are around?

I imagine that once your little one starts crying, your partner is getting stressed. Children pick up on that stress and it is probably making it worse. Before you pack your job in, perhaps try a night nanny to see if she can help your partner learn to settle him successfully?

Is he crying for 5 hours whilst being comforted or is that how long he’ll keep it up for when trying cry it out? If it’s an attempt at sleep training then clearly that method isn’t working for him and he needs comforting to sleep. If he’s being cuddled and still crying for that long then definitely not normal and I’d be investigating causes that don’t centre around you. It’s around the typical age for the 2->1 nap transition, also typical age for the first molars to be cutting, how does he eat in the day and any chance he’s hungry, has he been unwell, does calpol improve things, does he snore as that could indicate enlarged tonsils which can also be a cause of frequent wakes and night time distress. I wouldn’t quit your job unless you’d worked through all the possibilities first, you’d feel awful if you quit and it turned it was just teething combined with needing to drop a nap!

He’s being cuddled to sleep. Eating can be a bit hit or miss, but if he’s not eaten well he’s given porridge before bed which he eats well. Going to the doctors tomorrow to rule out medical issues. Has been growing molars may be an issue, although he has been given pain relief before bed on nights I’ve not been there. Recently dropped to one nap himself. Try shortening, lengthens, lots of outdoor/busy play during the days. Just a nightmare.