Should Christmas be about obligation?

[Skyrainlight]

I've seen so many threads from people travelling to see family for Christmas when they want to stay at home, or hosting people they don't want to host, or having family stay for days longer than the host wants them to stay. I used to believe my wants weren't important at Christmas and I hated it because of that. Long term illness means I can't travel so I now get to do what I want at Christmas and stay home which I absolutely love after decades of travelling (long haul every second year). Of course for some people travelling to see family is what they want to do, others love hosting a houseful. Everyone has a different idea of the ideal Christmas.

AIBU - Christmas is about obligation
YANBU - People should do what they want with their Christmas

So our whole family Christmas has been based around elderly relatives for the past 15 years. Said elderly relatives moan and groan about how annoying Christmas is, don't really engage with the children, and at the end of the day make comments about how they're glad it's over for another year. Yet if they didn't get an invite, would complain that they're lonely and can't celebrate Christmas. I dread it every year when it should be a time for celebration with my children. Definitely an obligation for me

There are some very special occasions such as Christmas, weddings etc that are, or at least were, about celebrating with family or friends, spending time together, being good hosts or guests, strengthening bonds. They are just a couple of days out of your whole year.

Now they are sadly about how can I make this about just me.

It isn't "obligation" to spend it with family (unless you don't like them!), do your own thing if you want, let those family bonds go if you don't value them.

(Obviously if anyone has a toxic relationship with their family that's a different story)

Summed up beautifully.

Life is full of give and take.

YANBU

XMAS IS NOT ABOUT OBLIGATION! Neither is a lot of or even all of social life

It's about give & take I think. But if certain people are doing more of one than the other there may be a problem. I stopped hosting my db as even though I love him I'd have to collect him & take him home then he just sits in the chair all day & doesn't lift a finger. The last time he came, around 7 years ago, OH made me feel guilty for leaving db for a bit to play with my dds. So I felt pulled in all directions. No more!