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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To talk to them about this?

8 replies

Mysfaxe · 08/12/2024 05:58

I have a large group of friends spanning different age groups. I’m the oldest and very much the mum of the group.

Recently, two of the younger friends started dating one another. They are madly in love. I am so happy for them. They couldn’t be more perfect for each other.

However, their public displays of affection are so over the top that I realised was finding I felt really uncomfortable around them when they were together.

It was such a strong feeling of discomfort that I was even wondering if it was some kind of subconscious suppressed jealousy that I didn’t know I had.

On Friday a bunch of us got together (they weren’t there) and it turns out, it isn’t just me - we all feel the same and their level of public affection is making everyone squirm. Apparently I’ve only seen the half of it. Some of the stories were quite shocking.

Our friends have asked me if I’d be willing to say something to them.

I’m torn on it though. It seems so mean to point it out. They’re so happy and in love and young.

On the other hand, as much as we all joked about it, it genuinely is giving everyone the heebie jeebies and they’re making themselves a bit of a laughing stock in the group.

AIBU to give them a gentle hint that maybe the groping is better kept for private moments, or am I being a killjoy?

TBH, I really don’t want to be the one to raise it!

OP posts:
TooManyNiblings · 08/12/2024 06:02

I think everyone should just make jokey 'get a room' comments. If only you say something, it could be mis-construed as jealousy or pearl-clutching. If everyone says something, it should carry more weight and won't feel like bullying.

Shoxfordian · 08/12/2024 06:18

I don't think you should say anything, it's just the first phase of the relationship and it'll naturally burn itself out

SaagAloopa · 08/12/2024 06:35

TooManyNiblings · 08/12/2024 06:02

I think everyone should just make jokey 'get a room' comments. If only you say something, it could be mis-construed as jealousy or pearl-clutching. If everyone says something, it should carry more weight and won't feel like bullying.

I agree with this. Just because you're the oldest doesn't make you the spokesperson. If other people are uncomfortable they need to find their voices too.

Edingril · 08/12/2024 06:37

I would say anyone uncomfortable with it use their own voice, it will fizzle out eventually anyway

Mischance · 08/12/2024 07:07

Not your job .... each individual must deal with it themselves.

A bit if gentle joking is the way to go if anything.

DarkAndTwisties · 08/12/2024 07:33

TooManyNiblings · 08/12/2024 06:02

I think everyone should just make jokey 'get a room' comments. If only you say something, it could be mis-construed as jealousy or pearl-clutching. If everyone says something, it should carry more weight and won't feel like bullying.

I agree with this.

Asking you to have a chat with them is a bit unfair I think.

healthybychristmas · 08/12/2024 09:03

I wouldn't have a chat with them but at the point in which they're doing it, the entire group should say oh come on, nobody wants to see that.

weatherisjustmist · 08/12/2024 09:07

Just all take the piss every time they go over the top. It will be weird if you take it upon yourself to make an official statement about it.

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