AIBU? R.E Birthday Presents

[MyThreeLittleLoves]

Good Evening

I am going to try my best to keep this as short as possible.

My son is 3 at the end of the month, he has always preferred toys that are aimed more towards girls.

Just to name a few things, Sylvanian Families, Moana, Dolls House, Jelly Cat soft toys etc.

He doesn’t like the usual, Spider-Man, Cars etc.

My husband and I took a trip to smyths today to choose his birthday presents, so obviously I’ve chosen the things that I know he likes, I tried my best to not pick up anything “too girly” even though I have no issue with my son playing with girls toys, and I’d never stop him.

So, when I was putting the toys in the trolley my husband said “who are they for? who are we shopping for?” I simply said to him, I am buying our son, I know he would like and wants, only for him to reply “he’s not having those toys, he is not a girl he is getting older now, it’s not happening”

So I was basically forced to buy him boys toys, I have already done the boys Christmas shopping and I have also bought him toys that I know he’d like.

I want to donate the toys we bought today to children that would probably not get a gift this year. And I have been online and I’ve put the toys in my basket that I know our son would prefer.

Do you think I am being unreasonable? I just want our son to be happy when he sees his gifts, and bearing in mind he will not open them on his birthday as we’ll be away on holiday, and I know it would be nice for him to come home to more surprises.

There are lots of neutral toys - duplo and similar, my nephew has a big cafe with play food, hate to say it but posher more expensive shops tend to have a more neutral selection.

But the most important thing is to talk to your DH not give away the things he chose without telling him.

Gender is stupid & sexist.

There are records of parents telling their sons ‘only girls play with that / like clothes like that’ & the sons either deciding that they must really be girls (and vice versa), or the parents, clearly monumental idiots, deciding that their children must actually be trans.

So I would be careful from that angle.

He buys half the gifts. You buy half the gifts.

But there are no girls and boys toys. There are just toys.

Diploma, wooden train set, animals, dolls house. They are just toys

Until he was about 4, Gds was entirely happy to play ‘babies’ with his slightly older sister’s dolls, and dress up in anything, however non-boy, from the dressing-up box. I well remember him at 3, coming to tell the grown-ups in the kitchen to please be quiet! - because they’d just put the babies to bed!

He changed his ideas very soon, certainly after starting reception at 4, and at 8 now, wouldn’t be seen dead wearing or doing anything ‘girly’.

Good Lord you married a caveman.

Be careful because this arsehole behaviour will be sending signals to your DC that they have to "conform" to outdated stereotypes.

Toys are just toys. I have a DS, born after DD who had a mix of toys. DS played with what he liked, used to take baby Annabelle to preschool in the buggy aged 3 and used to dress up in DDs dress up clothes. Al perfectly normal and healthy child behaviour.

Your DH is an idiot, what exactly does he think is going to happen if your DS plays with a doll?! As regards other people commenting - that's their problem and I would hope a nursery/preschool etc would correct any child making a comment.

DS absolutely loved his baby doll and toy kitchen when he was that age. He’s a strapping 15 yr old rugby player now - although does wear bright pink running spikes for athletics! We always let him have whatever toys interested him at the time, he also went through a toy train phase, a ‘police’ phase and a Nerf gun phase.

https://www.lettoysbetoys.org.uk/

Don't make your child feel bad for liking cute bunnies ffs. How cruel. My boys loved that type of stuff, don't care about Spiderman, they still are boys with their own interests in vehicles and pokemon.

Please don't perpetuate this moronic and harmful idea of "boys' toys" and "girls' toys".