Please help!

[Kim004]

Hi,

in desperate need of ideas. I have a four month old koala baby that always needs to be held. The issue is when he is tired or particularly fussy, I will only do. My toddler needs me to do bedtime, so dad has baby, baby is inconsolable as he is tired, ( currently on me asleep having a tick in his breathing from all the crying)
toddler is 3 and I mainly do bedtime as he has a fit when daddy does it( story for another time ) I try to do a lot of his bed times, it’s becoming more and more difficult with the 4 months going nuts. They both are going nuts for me and my husband feels like absolute shit! We know it’s all temporary but he is really upset. We need to get to a point of taking turns with both of them, what can my husband do to console my 4 month old when he wants mum.

I would start doing one night with Dad doing toddler bedtime and you the next.

For the baby get Dad to take them
out for a walk in the sling (obviously storm
permiting).

Thank you so much!

Just me who considered the op had AN actual koala??

Hi, my first thought is, do you have a sling?

This was a godsend when I had a 3 year old & baby. Pop baby on your back in a suitable sling if possible (try a sling library for advice on the right time & way to do this).

good luck 💐

Snap! I got so excited for a millisecond l, anticipating the photos.

Haha! Now that would be interesting! I just like that saying more than ‘Velcro baby’ lol

No, not just you......

Nope! Me too! I was trying to figure if it’s even legal 😂😂 What the hell is a Koala baby?

What is a koala baby?

OP where the baby is concerned, DH taking him outside is usually the best way to calm him down. With the 3yo try and take turns and incorporate special things that you each only do on mum's/dad's nights to make it feel special.

I often used to do toddler/preschooler bedtimes with a baby on me in a sling. They were usually asleep though. Do you have a sling? They are miracle objects.

i understand that your husband needs to spend time with them himself to build a bond, but i think your baby (especially if breastfed) just needs you at fussy times (ie, the witching hour!!)

good luck!

Ah, come on! Koala baby obviously means clingy, like a koala holding on to a tree with all four limbs! 😂

I thought this too! 😂

Do you hold baby all day? Get him used to being put down more, and then he has the choice of being put down or being held by dad.
It is not the right weather unfortunately, but taking baby out for a walk would be one way.
Could you alter baby's bed time so that he is more lively or fast asleep when toddler is being put down.
As to toddler, get him used to the idea that he gets mummy and daddy alternate nights because "Daddy gets upset when toddler does not want him". Get daddy to cry/make a fuss.
I am guessing that daddy gives up very easily too and needs to work in his skills in that area.

Agree for toddler start taking turns with daddy - I started when mine was 1 year old and she hated it (and always, and still does 5 years later, prefer me to daddy) but I would just brightly say 'it's mummy's turn' or 'daddy's turn' and she got used to it. Also depending how old / comprehension you can tell them that you and daddy have been both wanting it to be your turn etc but you have to take turns etc - my daughter likes this

For baby, I got mine on a 6pm bedtime by 5 months (by having them up by 3pm in arvo) and this meant I could put them to bed and then concentrate on big baby. Until I sorted this early bedtime it was fresh hell every night with upset baby and upset child.

Yes, I was going to suggest a sling for the baby and then I realised that it would mean you consigned to dealing with both at bedtime! And who knows for how long. Better solution is to get your toddler to accept Dad at bedtime. It let's Dad get involved too.

No. I'm still trying to work it out. What did we miss.

I'll admit to thinking it then hoping it. I love koalas. 🐨🐨🐨

Do not get daddy to cry and emotionally blackmail the toddler 🤦‍♀️

So did I 😂I was a bit disappointed when I realised it wasn't

You have my sympathy...all my kids were like this, still are..my husband is useless with them!

Nope - I got very excited then confused 🙈

Go out at dinnertime/bedtime once a week and leave them to it. The kids will get the message that daddy is as reliable and safe as mummy.

I'm never sure how much this works but you could wear the sling for a while so when Dad takes baby our it smells of you, or let them take a jumper you've been wearing that day etc?

Sorry but it is a communication type that a toddler will understand.