What age did you let your DC play video games?

[CandyCane103]

DC is 6. Comes home in tears because his friend group are always talking about Minecraft and Mario and he can't join in. He says he feels left out and doesn't understand why they are all allowed it and he's not. His dad can't have him overnight atm but isn't a nice man, and when court ordered overnights start he has promised him he can have 'all the computer games he likes'. Yes. A part of me is worried he won't want to come home from his dad's. Selfish I know but there is a huge history of DA and I know he will use it against me.

I'm so torn on whether to get him a games console and Minecraft. Or just not bother because he's only 6.

Thoughts?

We are a gaming household so DC have always had exposure to it I guess. DD1(5) and DH sometimes play some Minecraft or something on the Switch together (or at the moment they are building a Christmas factory on a PC game). DD2 is too little but likes to use a disconnected controller to join in.

We are pretty relaxed about gaming because it's our favoured leisure activity as parents, more so than TV etc. And it's never ended up being a big thing for DC so far, it's always accessible along with all their other toys and stuff and they just take it or leave it depending on mood. It's not ever been anything 'special' I guess.

Everyone has different opinions on this stuff though.

Hard to know what to do. I grew up in a gaming household. My brothers played it a lot. One still games now, the other lives completely off grid and only has a brick phone, the other doesn't game at all. But I maybe the games were different back then! My son is ND so gaming could be amazing or a big mistake.

I know it’s addictive but does your son watch YouTube? Not the point of your thread but my kids picked up a lot of info about games like Mario via YT. (They’ve never owned a Nintendo console)
My kids are much older so I can’t recommend YTers who are child friendly (don’t swear) but I’m sure someone else will know.

We don't have YouTube and he's never asked for it. I actually worry more about YouTube than gaming. I also think if I let him watch gaming he would just be more upset that he can't do it himself.

If ND, gaming can be completely addictive. But it's also true that it's a good way for them to wind down and fit in, and then your ex can't use it against you. You can have strict boundaries around it. But beware, once you start there's no going back!

He's just so sensitive when it comes to being liked, not fitting in, etc. Obviously he has confidence that come from other things, but he literally sobs himself to sleep because of it (which equally makes me more worried about how obsessed he might get over it!).

DD is 7 and we have a Switch with Minecraft and a few Mario games. Minecraft in creative mode is great and is basically virtual lego, no issues with that whatsoever and I much prefer it being in played on the TV than on an ipad because I think DC keep a sense of awareness of what’s going on around them and don’t go into that weird creepy trance like they do using a personal screen. We have Mario Kart and Mario Party- they’re fun, social - they even get the teenage cousins off their phones and playing together. No ND to consider but I think it’s a perfectly fine form of entertainment and would encourage it any day over an ipad, you tube kids etc.

My children are older, my youngest is 16 and my eldest in his 20s.
My eldest got a DS as a present when he was 7 as lots of his friends had one. We did limit it so that he wasn't on it all the time but he did become pretty obsessed with it. Before that he didn't really have anything to play games on. There was no online gaming then though, which did help.
By the time our youngest was 3 or 4 we had other things in the house such as a Wii, a desktop and an Xbox, so it was a lot more difficult and he was a lot more exposed to it. He did play and see games at a much younger age but it was easy to police because none of the consoles belonged to him and he accepted that he could have a turn but it wasn't his to play on when he liked. He used to go and watch other people playing all the time though.
Again, it was when he owned his own console that he really became obsessed with it. I think it's better if the console is a family item and you just buy them the games when they are really young.

well what games consoles are you thinking to get him?

if he plays Minecraft, what device will that be on?

I don’t have all the solutions but I think you need to think about what the device will be first, then you can see if you have the time to supervise him on it and make sure he’s safe. I don’t know enough about Minecraft but it has a huge online following and servers and multiplayer so you would need to moderate what he’s doing and who he’s speaking to - even if the game on the surface seems age appropriate?

If you get him a PC then there’s so many other things you need to be mindful of considering he’s 6.

I kind of think the best way to go is giving him an old phone that can use apps or a tablet. You can set up the appropriate parental settings but you still need to monitor him.

3 was probably the youngest however the switch isn’t theirs. It’s technically mine and both my partner and I like to play once the kids are in bed. They never played on it regularly at that age. They started to ask to play age 5.

They are now older and we limit the screen time more but it’s never been a novelty to them as they grew up with it. Prob a bit different to you OP if there aren’t any consoles in the house currently

Gaming has always been permitted here. DS has grown up with consoles in the house and a selection of games to play

However, we have parental controls on all devices. We limit him to 1 hour a day (which we occasionally override if it's poor weather or similar). Age ratings on games are strictly adhered to also.

My children all started off with tablets from about 3/4.. Mainly it was to keep them occupied on long drives to my dads to watch films but over time I ended up downloading games on them.

On an iPad you can have games like Minecraft ect. But I’m going to assume his friends are playing on Xbox or PlayStations. As an above poster has said we are quite a gaming household. Me & DP both have gaming PCs as well as eldest. DC 8 has an Xbox & youngest still just uses his iPad.

My DS got his Switch at 6, started with a couple of Mario games. Then probably Minecraft a couple of years later.

He is ND as well and gaming really helps him socially with others. Doesn't play with friends online, but being able to chat about games/characters has been so good for him.

I really don't see any issues with him having a Switch. TBH, given what you've said about his dad, I'd get in there before he gives him access to a PS/XBox with is much less child friendly for that age group.

Minecraft and Mario are such good, wholesome fun! You could even play the new Mario Party game together as a family. Just make sure to have boundaries on play time, home work, chores, bedtime etc, so that he knows it’s not a free-for-all.

Minecraft and mario are great games for 6 year olds. Especially Minecraft it's so creative and they can actually learn a lot from it. Both my son's have been playing Playstation since age 5/6 and younger than this they had simple iPad games.

I’m not into gaming but DH is, so both DC have always been exposed to it.

Both started playing on the PlayStation at about 3, just short bursts here and there on games such as Paw Patrol. They’re 5 and 9 now and both go on it occasionally but not all that often or for long.

They both have iPads and play games on them fairly often but not constantly. I’m strict on age limits and absolutely nothing with the ability to talk to others online.

I started my son out on a Wii console. Still plays it occasionally. Then a tablet, which he played Minecraft on. Only got his 1st Xbox at 11.

I know people can have really strong different views on this but the mario games are really fun family friendly games you can all play together. We've just had a game of Mario party together (me, dh and dd, 5). It is like a virtual board game with mini games that use 1 or 2 buttons. My dd really adores it and it is really interactive, much more so than sitting and watching a movie which is the same length of time. We only play maybe twice a month a video game together due to time but it is fun and me and her dad both like to play video games (when she is asleep) so I felt it was inevitable and part of our life. It isn't something she begs me to play yet, I think because she knows the switch is mine and I decide when we play together. That will probably come in time!

Our daughter was 5ish when she started gaming - Mario was actually one of her favourites and I think it's a good family game. We waited until she was 7 for Minecraft. She's ND and finds gaming very calming (I can't think of a better word but it helps her center herself sometimes).

DS is 8. He just got a chromebook with “locked down” Minecraft (I.e he’s not allowed to play multiplayer”. He’s gets 3 hours of laptop time a week, but can have no more than 30 mins at a time on weekdays. Tbh he’s very cool about it- likes being able to play it, but doesn’t argue about it going off when the time runs out (I control it from google family hub).

My DS almost 6 plays Minecraft and roblox on the ipad. He isn't allowed to play it or use the iPad in general at all on weekdays but we are pretty relaxed at weekends.

Would you play something like Mario Kart with him? The good thing about that sort game is you can set an easy to understand limit, like we'll do 3 races then you need to get ready for bed etc.

1. He's a bank manager now. Didn't do him any harm. Still a gamer too.

My eldest started playing Minecraft on our family iPad aged 6. He loves building Lego and I do think there are a lot of positive creative aspects to Minecraft as well. Although as he's got older he is more interested in spawning creatures and staging battles He has Mario on it as well but plays it much less.

I like having it on the iPad because I think it's less absorbing than on a console, and I do not allow any online elements. He's only allowed 20-30 mins max per day and only if he's done his homework (very useful incentive).

I confess to being quite anti-gaming in general and we don't own any consoles in the family. I deliberately waited until he could read well before introducing the games, and although he moans at switch-off time, ten minutes later he'll be curled up on his bed with a book. I do think it's important kids learn to entertain themselves without screens before giving them regular access.

In your case, especially if he is generally good at occupying himself, I would introduce it in short and regulated stints, on an iPad or Switch. We are considering a Switch for his 8th birthday (but would be for the family, not only him, same limits etc).

My 6 year old and 8 year old have minecraft on their tablet, I've locked it down so they just build stuff. It seems totally boring to me but they enjoy it. My 8 year old has just got a handheld game console with all the classics on which is a hit. I used to worry about addiction but they use it as a filler activity and seem fine with it. If they don't come off them when we say (or after a 10 min countdown) or if they start asking for screens all the time we have some days off screens entirely, not as a punishment but we explain that they're becoming dependent on it and not wanting to play with their toys/games/crafts so much and none of us want that to happen. They understand and it doesn't cause any drama. Works for us.
There's nothing inherently bad in minecraft and Mario, we had consoles and computer games back in the 90s too. It's just about managing it in a way that works for you and your son.