Sent husband away whilst I’m in the pub

[ElleDeeCB]

I’m sitting in a pub having a bite to eat for 90mins whilst my child is at an activity. I suggested to my DH he could come join me for a catch up and childfree time once he’d finished some work he needed to do. I arrived first and then 20mins later DH turned up in pub in his running gear, very sweaty and out of breath. He’d decided to run to the pub and stop off en route, incorporating it into his exercise regime. I quizzed him and said that I thought it was a bit strange to stop off in the pub like this. Honestly, I didn’t really want to sit next to him all sweaty on the seats like this. It’s not an especially fancy pub, but everyone is eating. He said he could just continue his run, and I said OK sure.

AIBU to have sent him on his way? I just felt it was a bit grim for me and the other punters for him to turn up like this, but I know he’ll sulk about it or say I’m being uptight.

If it makes any difference, this was a city centre pub - not near a sports ground or on a route for cyclists and hikers.

AIBU to have sent him on his way?

You make him sound like an animal.

You didn't really 'send' him anywhere though if he said he could just continue on his run.

But yes, you do sound uptight.

I mean I guess it depends on your tone? If you said you didn't want him to sit there because he was gross and sweaty in a jokey way that's one thing but if you were horrified and had a cat's bum mouth I'd be put out as well. We runners do know we're a bit gross and sweaty - DP sometimes acts mock-horrified when I come home dripping but that's far from actual disgust!

Oh wow. I'd be quite happy to run to a pub and be a bit sweaty and out of breath. And wouldn't bother me likewise if someone in a pub was too. Seems like lots of sensitive peeps out there

@NewPinkJacket yes probably not the right choice of phrase. He said he could just continue on his run, and I said ‘yes sure that’s OK’.
@gannett I wasn’t either really - I just said ‘oh did you run here- are you not stopping?’ And he said that he was, and I said ‘oh I’m not sure, don’t you think it’s a bit strange if you’re in the middle of a run’? I was being a bit vague as I didn’t want to embarrass him about being sweaty / wearing running clothes in the pub, instead implying that he wouldn’t want to stop and eat halfway. But I think he could tell I felt a bit uncomfortable.

I lol'd at - 'I quizzed him' 😅. I hope that's hyperbole.

That being said, I understand your disappointment. Is communication usually an issue? The sulking may be indicative of that. I'd expect a partner to understand that an invitation to join you for a meal, dyring 90 precious minutes of childfree time, is not the time to pack in a run, a stop and turn up sweaty ☹️.

I’ve been trying to understand why I don’t like being around him when he’s just finished exercising and is very sweaty, and I don’t think it’s off-putting from him - as he doesn’t get very smelly and he’s in good shape and I find him attractive. I think it’s because I can’t help but imagine how I feel when I’m sweaty from exercise, which I dislike and get itchy and need to wash myself as soon as I can. So I think it is me being uptight in a way.

Too uptight...who cares. Its the sort of thing I would do by the way....a good use of time.

I could understand if he was dripping with sweat and stinking! Otherwise wouldn't have minded

Given the update, I think it's all pretty much clickbait hyperbole.

Last paragraph OP says" But I know he'll sulk about it or say I'm being uptight."

Seems like it 😕

I suggested to my DH he could come join me for a catch up and childfree time once he’d finished some work he needed to do.

Couldn't he just have come with you & done the work later?

Did he even finish the work before the run?

Seems I'm in a minority but I think it was a really odd thing for him to have done.

I think that wearing a headband is unreasonable. You did the right thing