If you found a book with someone’s personal thoughts for the next few years

[Foundaplan]

If you found a diary/booklet in the car with your partner’s written, private thoughts/hopes for the next few years would you read it without asking them?

Would you be upset if someone read your personal thoughts?

If someone found it is it your fault they read it because you didn’t hide it?

This. It was personal. I wouldn’t read someone’s personal thoughts without their permission, partner or not.

I’m sorry OP. It must make you feel very exposed and uncomfortable.

It was actually all very positive plans. The point is it was really personal and I didn’t plan for anyone else to read it - especially without asking. I wouldn’t have written it if I thought someone else was going to read it, it was my private thoughts.

I'm so nosy but I'd never ever read someone's diary. Aside from the fact it's incredibly personal it would terrify me to read something that could change your view of them. I would probably make an exception in the event of the death of a close elderly relative. I'd assume they would have got rid of them if they didn't want them to be read. The only thing I would say in your partners defence is that the document you wrote probably didn't look like a diary or personal correspondence. I'd pick something like that up to read it to figure out who it belonged to and where it needed to be tidied away to.

no yes no. I am mot sure I could forgive that.

You are not the only one @LostittoBostik; don’t think I could resist a peek.

As ever, the first post nailed it.

Honestly, if I found a notebook or booklet in the car with DH scribblings in it - yes I’d read it.

If it said “Diary” on the front, and I could tell it wasn’t an appointment diary, but more of a journal, no I wouldn’t.

Unfortunately once I’d been sucked in by the first page or two of a notebook, I’d carry on reading. I’m not saying that’s right, but just being honest.

Given you’ve described it as a booklet, I’m
guessing it wasn’t obvious straight away that it was a diary or journal containing your thoughts, dreams and plans.

His second mistake was letting you know he’d read it. I’d just keep my mouth shut.

The same thing happened to me. I was about thirteen, an awful, vulnerable age for something like that to happen. Sorry to hear that happened to you.

No, yes, no
I can imagine finding a notebook in the car, wondering what it was and having a quick flick through it to see what it was.
But as soon as I realized what it was I wouldn't have read any further.
And no, you are not to blame for it being somewhere it could be found.

This. Don’t snoop. If it’s a reverse, it’s not your fault and they’ re a shit.

I found out because I had detailed some cancer tests I was undergoing (luckily clear) and I hadn’t told my DH as we had a young baby and he had a stressful job. I had decided not to tell him unless it was bad news. She told him, I went nuts and it took a long time to recover from. Other than this issue though she had/has been a great support to me so we found ways to rebuild bridges.

I had written a couple of very private letters to a close friend about something she'd asked advice about. I'd written from the heart and very openly.

BIL had asked to use dh's computer to type something up (time when not everyone had one) and he'd let him. I came in to find him reading one of them.
In order to find it (it would not have been in recent items) he'd have had to go into user files> Margaret> letters.
So totally deliberate.

I was really annoyed.

He didn't use dh's computer again.

I have a huge fear about anyone reading my personal stuff but I also find it so cathartic to write stuff down (physically with a pen and paper) and so have to shred everything on the same day it’s written. I’m aware this is batshit!!

Yeah lol

If I found a notebook in a shared space, I think I’d pick it up and see what it was.

In all honesty, I probably wouldn’t be able to resist reading it, but I wouldn’t tell the writer.

If you really didn’t want it found then maybe it should have been hidden away.

If DP was searching a private space looking for such personal stuff then that’s different. It’s not really clear here whether he just dipped into the glove compartment looking for some screen wipes, or was rifling through OPs possessions.

I'd find it difficult to trust him. If you left your phone unlocked would he read your messages? How about Facebook messenger? Would it be your fault because you didn't close it down?