Traumatic event and husband doesn't seem to care

[Thisisntme1]

This is my second thread about DH so I'm aware I'm not painting him in a good light.
But this morning something happened to me, I was at the gym and a car crashed through the wall and hit the treadmill that I was on. Loud explosion, bricks everywhere etc, I was totally fine physically but obviously shaken.

I called DH afterwards to let him know and said that I was ok. He did ask if I needed him to come to me (he was at work) but I said I was fine to get home.

Backstory, We've had a few disagreements lately and haven't had a kiss, hug or any affection from him in a month (and I haven't initiated either to be fair), but are getting along ok-ish.

But I thought when he got home today, he might give me a kiss or a hug but nothing.
We got on with our day and he never checked in with me. He has seen footage of the accident.
We've gone to bed (it's now midnight here) and I thought he might give me a hug then after a long day but he rolled over and went to sleep.

I'm on my phone so can't do a poll, but AIBU to expect just a small amount of affection, even if I am physically ok? I'm quite upset now more from that than the accident.

First of all, that sounds absolutely terrifying! You must have got a horrible shock. I think, given the unaffectionate stand-off you seem to be in at the moment (I haven’t seen your other thread so don’t know what caused it), you probably need to ask for what you want.

Aww, op. That's shite. An all round shitty day. You're not in any way unreasonable for feeling as you do about all aspects of it.

If you don’t get affection then you won’t get affection. You just have to get out and learn to live alone, get a dog, or get a better husband.

That is horrid OP. What a shocking event. It will of course take you a while to feel ok and a partner should be grateful to still have you after a near miss. I would be very unimpressed and would be considering whether this man deserved to be in my life.

I nearly got knocked down by a speeding car (my fault too) and now my husband drives me bonkers by his one man speed commentary campaign. He has called the police and reported drivers He was very attentive after the event.

I don't know, he offered to come when it happened. Did he genuinely mean it?
Maybe he is just very practical and doesn't realise you need affection?
My DH would do anything for me if I asked but he might not think to emotionally support me if I didn't. Not idea for some people but it works for us.

It sounds awful. But it also sounds as though your relationship is not in a good place and it's not clear from this if you have communicated how upset you are feeling about it and communicated that you would like a hug and reassurance?

He is an arse. That must have given you quite a scare - such an unexpected shock. Maybe he hasn’t experienced anything like this before and doesn’t realise how it can shake you up for a while. My partner was similarly cold towards me after I witnessed a machete attack recently and I know it can feel like you are being judged as ‘oversensitive’ ’ or ‘making a fuss’ when a loved one underreacts/ doesn’t validate your reaction after an event that makes you question your general level of safety in the world.

Take care of yourself x

I’m sorry this happened to you, I would be very shaken up.

I would be really upset if my partner didn’t offer me support but (I’ve not read your other thread) if you’ve been having disagreements and neither of you have been affectionate in over a month then I wouldn’t necessarily expect them to initiate it.

Did you ask him for a hug or anything?

I potentially wouldn’t expect physical affection but I would still expect emotional support.

I think this does show you have serious problems in the relationship and it sounds like the relationship is over.