Turning the WiFi off - teens

[Samseys]

We have our internet on a sleep schedule, it goes off at 11.30pm on a school night. There are 4 teens in the house and there are times we have been woken up because they are all awake on devices despite us telling them to go to bed, we hear them going to get a drink, going the bathroom etc and it disturbs us. The sleep schedule forces them to go to bed and in my opinion the time is late enough.

last night (friday) they were all still up and quite noisy at midnight so DH turned it off as he couldn’t get to sleep because of them.

this morning I have woken up to 10 text messages from DD saying it’s so unfair, why does the wifi have to go off, she can’t sleep without the wifi on because she watches/listens to stuff, shes crying herself to sleep, it’s not fair she is being punished when everyone else is noisy etc. she’s 15.

AIBU to think this is ridiculous? I think midnight is late enough for a non school night and she should be doing whatever she needs to be doing to fall asleep before that time?

alls she does is argue with me about it and tell me all her friends are up and I’m to strict, I really don’t think I am though

She's probably right that a lot of her friends have access to their devices and the internet all night.

That doesn't mean you're wrong, though.

She can download stuff to listen to or watch if she's that bothered. Though don't they have data? Turning off the WiFi would help with teens who are up gaming but just being on their phones is surely not affected by turning off WiFi?

Stop arguing with her about it. Say it's the house rule, because it's not fair on you, the parents, to be disturbed. It's not up for negotiation. Repeat as necessary.

Even though she’s only on her phone/watching tv she can still disturb us when she goes downstairs for a drink, goes the bathroom, its the movement and the doors opening and closing which can go on until midnight

Ours goes off at 10pm for teens. It's similar for ds' friends who are 17yo, although not all now.

I'm considering this as DS is often online late at night. I'm sure it's going to be unpopular but I found him chatting to mates online at 2am the other night, and even after we spoke about that he was doing the same at after midnight last night.

I don't disagree with not having teens or any children online all night.

However, what would you do if instead of phone she was reading and still doing those things? Switch the electricity off? Remove all her books?

It's better to have a conversation about being considerate, careful with doors, taking a drink bottle to her room etc.

If she can't sleep, she can't sleep. That’s ok, especially at the weekend, however she (and her siblings) have to respect other people in the house being asleep and find quieter activities and be careful when they need something.

She can download the stuff to watch/listen to surely?
She is having you on. She really wants to be chatting and texting.

But she can get up for a wee or a drink even if she's not on screens

You are not being unreasonable.....it would be off a lot earlier especially on a school night!!!

You have allowed your kids to become addicted to their screens. It's going to be very difficult to reset now.

Worth persevering though.

She is being ridiculous

Take her phone off her at night as well, she's obviously still texting people if she's texting you. If she needs it for an alarm just get an old school one.

this morning I have woken up to 10 text messages from DD saying it’s so unfair, why does the wifi have to go off, she can’t sleep without the wifi on because she watches/listens to stuff, shes crying herself to sleep, it’s not fair she is being punished when everyone else is noisy etc. she’s 15.

Whatever the boundary is that you set, stick to it. This is bordering on manipulative tactics to get what she wants;
10 messages?

"crying herself to sleep"
seriously? I'd be telling her she needs to get a grip, nobody died, this is internet access, have some perspective. In 5 years time she will be making someone's life hell (maybe yours, maybe a roommates) with these kinds of things having worked for her in the past.

If someone is crying themself to sleep because the internet has gone off at 11:30, I think that's a sign of an issue with their internet usage tbh.

You're not even stopping her talking to friends with the policy, I assume her phone sends messages without WiFi.

Teens are likely to stay awake a lot later if they are on screens. Same as anyone really.

Sure, but it's not uncommon to wake in the night and need a wee or get a drink either. OP seems to be complaining about two different things, really.

There are 4 of them all awake so it’s 4 lots of people going downstairs, going the bathroom etc and it’s hard to know who it is when you are in bed trying to get to sleep, I equally don’t want to be getting up and down telling them to go to bed and be quiet. she is the only who complains about the internet going off, everyone else just accepts it.

Why don't you just turn the WiFi off the certain devices, like phones? So if they want music or TV they can still do that?

I agree weekdays they should be in bed to get enough sleep for school but I'd be inclined to be less strict at weekends.

But don't they just use data on phones anyway when you turn the WiFi off, you'd have to actually remove the phones for this to be effective surely?