To ask school to be more engaging?

[SENDqueries]

DS is 10, year 5. Autistic and ADHD. Has an ehcp and full time 1-1.

I raised last school year he was struggling to cope but school weren't concerned. Fast forward to returning from October half term the the poo has hit the fan.

He is barely in class. Within 25 days we have lots of running off and hiding. 7 seperate incidents of hurting other children (kicking, shoving, throwing things at them). At least 7 occasions of throwing equipment. Persistent anger/rudeness towards adults. Lots of very vocal outbursts.

I'm tearing my hair out. I get a brief note in his book each day saying he's done x, y and z. His teacher has rung me for a brief chat a couple of times.

I want to support school, I am mortified that he is hurting and upsetting other children. I'm doing my best to reiterate messages based on the very limited info I'm told.

We have a meeting the day before they break up for 30 minutes. That is a whole further two weeks of this before we get a chance to sit down together to work out how to tackle it. I asked if it could be brought forward, that is a no, I've asked if we could make it an hour but it backs onto an event. During the brief call his teacher mentioned there are no consequences, he just goes and spends his day in the sensory room.

I don't know what else I can do. I started raising 8 months ago he was struggling and now children are being hurt. I don't know what school are doing to tackle it or what support is being put in place.

AIBU to expect some communication with school?

You need to request an emergency ehcp review and request a specialist place. The wait may be long but as y5 he will probably be a priority after sept 2025 y7 and reception are placed

I'm sorry this must be very hard. If this is happening with a full time 1:1 then it sounds like a mainstream school can no longer meet his needs. As PP said you need to start the process for requesting alternate provision.

Before going down the road of saying they can't meet his need you need to know what is actually happening. He has a 1-1 but how is this used? Is the support reactive rather than proactive? For example are there regular breaks in the sensory room built in or is it used when it is clear he is struggling? He needs a plan which supports him to remain regulated rather than just a plan to deal with dysregulation.

Your post suggests to me that this is what you want to ensure with better communication, before you make any big decisions. This makes sense but it sounds like the school aren't very proactive so you are going to have to really push for what he needs.

Even with the right support it might not be the right setting but they aren't giving you enough at the moment to figure this out.

Don’t assume he’s not lashing out in self defence. My child hit someone in the playground. The school phoned me and made an huge deal out of it, and when I asked for more detail they said that another child who was a known bully had ‘tapped’ her on the head. Turned out he had kicked her in the head while she was sitting on the ground.
We think that the teachers are looking out for our children and protecting them but in reality you have no idea what’s going on. My only message here is don’t assume that your child is the problem.

Have to say I agree with My only message here is don’t assume that your child is the problem.

How is all this happening if he has a full time 1-1?
How are the school using the 1-1?
In our case, she was being used to cover ill teachers. Yr3 class teacher off, no probs, DS's 1-1 was sent to cover the class AND DS was made to go and sit in with the Yr3 instead of staying with his class (Yr5).

We also had running off and hiding- turns out one of his classmates was threatening and punching him when no one was looking. Teachers didn't believe him because "he's special and will have to get used to it"

Have you tried asking what happened the half hour before he kicked the other child etc? If you asked my DS "did you push X?" He'd say yes. If you asked him why, he would block and not be able to answer. If you asked him what happened just before you pushed X he'd answer something along the lines of X took my pencil case and threw it away/ X tried to pull my trousers down etc. The teachers were only interested in the first question.

School once complained DS had shown his willy in the changing room - the other kids told the teacher. What they didn't tell the teacher was that three of them had cornered him and pulled his trousers and underwear down.... (They did at lease drop the complaint, but nothing happened to the others as it was DS's word against theirs).

9-10 year olds can be nasty.

Is it new behaviour this/last year? If yes, that would point in the direction of something going on in the background like covert bullying or lack of correct support from school rather than your DS wilfully being disruptive.

I agree with you there should be a lot more communication about why the behavior is happening.
Has this behavior been evident in the past or is it completely new?
Is he using a visual timetable/ now and next or reduced demands in the classroom. (If he has a PDA profile this may not be the best plan)
Is he accessing regular movement and sensory breaks throughout the day while he is regulated .
For the running out has he an "I need a break" card , I find them great for them taking control of the need to remove themselves from the environment.
A soft start in the morning can also help set him up for the day. He has an SNA so he could start every day with a high interest activity that allows him to settle into school and cope with the transition.
Is he aware he has lashed out and is it done in panic and trying to get out of the situation or environment.
Is you communication journal two way?

No need to answer all the questions, just wanted to give you some ideas to ponder on.

I have wondered if there is more to it. He has always been high needs and a few years ago was prone to running but until 5 weeks ago had never ever harmed anyone. DS' ability to communicate the day is tricky, very verbal but gets very muddled and hard to follow the narrative. Doesn't really understand the other children but knows he doesn't like things they do (ie "in" jokes).

I also suspect the teacher, from the 20 minutes I've spoken to her since it started, is of a similar view to me. It is her students being hurt and her classroom that is having stuff thrown/damaged. I feel awful for her. She also asked to bring the meeting forward. It is SLT saying no.

I'm of the view school can't meet needs, I'd hope we could hold out until the end of year 6 but I'm open minded that he may not.

The SLT sound shit. I would guess that the class teacher is really struggling and being expected to deal with everything alone. Basically impossible when there are another 30 odd kids to deal with. The 1-1 sounds completely ineffective but again, might be getting no guidance from SLT.

Definitely request an early review of the EHCP like the pp said. Whether you pursue a different placement or not, DS needs more support. Other than the 1:1, what support, including therapies, is in the EHCP and is in being provided?

If you think the school can’t meet DS’s needs, do you have an alternative in mind?

What are DS’s triggers?

Does the full time 1:1 include break and lunch? Is the 1:1 definitely being provided? Sometimes even when 1:1 is detailed, specified and quantified in F, the 1:1 is used for other things/to support other DC. This should not happen and you can take action if it is the case.

It's perfectly possible for children to still hurt their peers with a 1:1 TA - it can happen in the blink of an eye and if the TA isn't at the child's shoulder it's often too late. Generally being so close to the child 100% of the time is suffocating and detrimental to the child. In this instance though, it sounds like the TA will really need to shadow him at all times and limit how close he can physically be to other children.

I would contact your local SENDIASS to support you in meetings with the school and in the process of asking for an emergency review of his EHCP. I'm a teacher with a similar student in my class although he doesn't have either a 1:1 or an EHCP on place yet. I am also a parent with an autistic child so.know how hard it can be to get schools to engage. As a pare t you sometimes have to make a lot of noise as it sounds like the SLT in your DC's school are terrible.

It does sound as if your DC needs more specialist provision. You can request an emergency EHCP review as a parent. There is information on the IPSEA website https://www.ipsea.org.uk/asking-for-an-early-review-of-an-ehc-plan

Be careful with SENDIASS. Some are good, but too many repeat the LA’s unlawful policies.