What would you have done?

[harlacem0507]

My daughter is 17 months old and we go to a small baby group every Friday. There is a 3 year old there who every Friday will throw a tantrum about something or other. Anyway, today my daughter was holding a rattle type toy, just walking around shaking it when the boy came up and took it off her. Mum noticed it too and immediately intervened so I thought great, sorted. Except her son then went into full melt down mode, my daughter was half crying/moaning but not overly upset but put out nonetheless. I watched and did nothing as other mother was dealing with it but when her son threw himself on the floor (still holding the toy) she looked at me apologetically and said 'i did try' and say down again.

I am not asking AIBU about her because that's how she parents and although I don't agree with it and would have made my child hand it back it's not my business. What is my business though is what I should have done after this. Which btw I did nothing as my daughter has then walked onto another activity but it didn't sit right with me and I'm wondering what others would have done in that situation? Would you have intervened in a way where you would the take the toy off that child (not being unreasonable) or let it go like I did? (Yes AIBU)

My partner said I should have taken it myself seeing as the mother didn't bother but I'm still not sure whether that would have been the right thing to do, although it's clearly still bothering me enough to write this post!

What would u have done?

I'd only have intervened if my child was actually upset about it. It sounds like your daughter wasn't too bothered so why make a fuss?

This sounds like a lot of fuss over a regular toddler disagreement. My child wouldn’t have been bothered so I wouldn’t push it, especially if I could see the other parent was struggling. It’s such a non-event, your child is going to have to learn to cope with others not behaving as they would expect, especially if others are neurodivergent. I’m not saying your child should be a pushover, but not everything has to be a battle.

I appreciate all the replies, it's just getting some insight as to whether it would have been appropriate for me to have said to child actually give that back or even taking it back off him as at the time my daughter was upset (although not hysterical granted) as I fear this will keep happening at the group and whether I would be unreasonable to do this in the future.