This year has been horrendous but I’ve worked really hard on staying positive and upbeat, mainly for the sake of DD11. However, the last couple of weeks have broken me. I’ll try to briefly summarise what’s happened:
In January my DM died after a long and difficult few years with dementia. A week later Dsister was diagnosed with cancer for the second time in 12 months. Our dad passed away 25 years ago and she is my only sibling and we are really close. Fortunately, treatment appears to have worked but it’s a constant worry that it’ll come back.
In April, DD21 left home to move in with her boyfriend that she met only a couple of months earlier. We are really close so this was tough, and worrying given how long they’d been together.
Fast forward to June and DD21 tells me she’s pregnant. Bit of a shock again given how long they’ve been together.
In the background, my relationship with DH has been, for want of a better word, crap. He emotionally checked out of our relationship, and family life, in 2022 when his mum became ill. We live overseas and he returned to our home country for 3.5 months in early 2022 to spend time with her and, since then, has been uninterested in me and our DCs. I’ve tried to be supportive and understanding of his situation but it’s been hard and has impacted on our DC too. We also have long standing issues over his family treating me bad my two older DC (from a previous relationship) appallingly and DH not supporting me but putting his bio-family first.
We decided a couple of months ago to try for a fresh start and move to be nearer to where my sister and DD21 live (they are in the same town). All looking good - conditional offer on our house and DD21 really happy and doing well. As a result, I’ve been getting excited about 2025.
Three weeks ago, me, DH, DD11 flew back to our home country to have my mum’s ashes buried with my dad. While we were away, DD21 was airlifted to hospital as she was bleeding and told that she was at high risk of having birth at just 29 weeks. This was terrifying for her and being so far away and unable to see her and provide support was awful. Fortunately, all turned out to be well and she was discharged after 4 days.
But … less than a week later (on the day that I was laying my mum to rest) her partner decided that he no longer wants to be with her and kicked her out. I was still overseas and she called me utterly distraught. Fortunately my sister was able to take her in.
I am now back home and DD21 is back living with us. Her partner is keeping her dangling with talk of trying to work things out and her moving back in with him ‘when he’s ready’. It’s heartbreaking seeing what he’s doing to her.
To top it all, the buyers for our house have found an issue with some paperwork that wasn’t completed properly over 30 years ago when our house was originally built and we have two weeks to get it sorted or they’ll pull out.
Right now, I am exhausted, angry, lonely (DHs reaction to DD being hospitalised was to carry on with plans go out drinking with his mates, and then plan a big get together with his mates and their families the day my mum was laid to rest so I am not feeling massively supported by him) and a bit numb.
I’m not entirely sure why I’ve posted but I just needed to get it all out and hope that someone may have some words of wisdom or comfort to help me through.
Thanks for reading, my attempt at being brief didn’t really work…