Domineering family members, how to do this nicely?

[InThePinkScarf]

We have my aunt staying over with us at the moment. She is 60 and part retired.
It's tough enough having her live here but she also keeps texting me when I am out. Other family members too, but mostly me.
For example, yesterday I was out in the afternoon and she sent me three messages of which were just things she saw out and about and which could definitely have waited until she got home. I get she may feel a bit lonely but I am also not responsible for her as harsh as that sounds. It is massively winding me up and just wondered how to deal with it.
Normally I sometimes ignore the message or wait a while and just heart it but she still isn't getting the hint and a normal conversation wouldn't go down well.

Definitely not a monster. You're already doing a lovely thing by having her to stay.

I feel suffocated just thinking about it.

Have you asked her to stop? Is she super anxious or something?

I have domineering relatives. I hear you. It is the trampling on boundaries, the demands, the controlling stuff, the persistence of it. The zero insight. It wears you right down.

You'd need to have an in-person conversation about it first, but then you could use a copy-paste message like this:

Hi (name)
I need some time to myself each day for my own wellbeing.
Unless it is an emergency, please do not message me while I am out. This is not an emergency and can wait until I return home.
If you are worried you might forget what you want to say, please write it down or save a note in your phone.
(your name)

But you are likely to have to deal with her increasing the messages first (testing your boundaries and seeing if you will respond if she pushes harder).

However I'm wondering about the motivation behind the messages - Is she lonely? Bored? Anxious about being in the house on her own? Worried if she doesn't message you immediately that she'd forget?
If any of these apply you might want to approach from a more compassionate view.

(please note, I'm not saying that she's not being controlling and overbearing, I've known some awful people who use age and/or circumstances as an excuse to be abusive to family)

It's kind of you to look out for your aunt, but many single people manage fine living alone. Did she ask to live with you, or did you invite her? If the suggestion came from you it won't be easy reversing it, but if she says she would rather be independent, you could talk with her about how to make it happen. Then you might be fine with her texting you.