Is this a small safeguarding red flag?

[YourAquaLion]

So I went to look round a school yday and a year 3 pupil (so around 7yo) on her own in a classroom (waiting for another teacher) came over and hugged me, then hugged the headteacher.

Headteacher said nothing. I was expecting an immediate “That’s lovely Crystal, its ok to hug me but we don’t hug strangers remember” from the headteacher or at least an explanation to me after we left the classroom - possibly the child had additional needs that made her over friendly to strangers.

When we left the classroom the child hugged me again, a really big hug. I’m a huggy person myself so I didn’t mind my personal space being invaded and responded kindly, but I was really expecting the headteacher to say something about it. She said nothing!

Am I overreacting to not think this is okay? - my 3yo sometimes launches himself on strangers and I apologise to them (all have been fine so far and think it’s just sweet) and remind him that we only hug people we know, not strangers. I will be more and more forceful with this instruction if it doesn’t seem to be going in.

Am I being unreasonable/overreacting or was this teacher strange to ignore that a 7 year old hugged a complete stranger looking round the school? Just thought it was really odd that nothing was said about it.

It's fairly unusual for a 7 or 8 year old (which is what year 3 is) to respond like that to a stranger visiting the school, so it's possible the child has some sort of SN.

As you responded kindly, they probably didn't feel the need to excuse or divulge any information to you about the child or the situation?

This happened to me with a child when volunteering with the same age range and the response from the teacher was immediate and just as you describe , so yes I’d have expected it to be mentioned and agree with you.

Why didn't you just ask?

I wouldn’t assume that because the head didn’t address it that it isn’t being addressed. They cannot inform you of another child’s additional needs that wouldn’t be appropriate. If may be that the complete ignoring is a planned approach to address the behaviour.

Sounds like SEN to me. It’s not typical behaviour for a child to hug a stranger. The child might have been waiting for an intervention. I don’t think it would have been your place to ask.

In schools where everyone has DBs checks the damage from enforcement of not hugging is overall more damaging to society so schools may have rowed back. Also suspect child would have had special needs.

I would be more concerned about the child being in a room unsupervised than the hug.

Why? Not being snarky but unsupervised in a classroom for a brief period of time isn’t an issue IMO. Children in primary school navigate around the place unsupervised all the time.

That would have been my daughter at that age. The school would be supporting her behind the scenes but I wouldn’t expect them to disclose her complex needs to a stranger.

You’d already clocked that the child may have had SN. Why does the child’s personal information need to be divulged to you? I absolutely hate when people apologise for a child’s behaviour using the reason that they have a disability. They are just them.

If it worried you at the time you could have asked if that level of physical contact was standard in the school.

Yes of course they do. But a child in a classroom on their own is a potential issue if for example there was a fire alarm or heaven forfend a school lockdown for an intruder( unlikely but possible, schools do prepare for that scenario). There would also be an issue if the child managed to injure itself while in a room unsupervised, or damaged equipment. I would have no problems with a child waiting for an adult outside a classroom where they could be seen to be safe.