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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feeling stupid for not wanting to be pushed out my home by bullying neighbours and missed out on a new build house

28 replies

waad · 06/12/2024 01:41

My neighbours have endlessly harassed me since I moved her nearly 3 years ago

We are the top flat with them below us. They cannot stand the kids noise like walking between rooms and singing and playing. They complain if I hoover, if I close a door etc. they've been labled extremely sensitive tenants

To teach me a lesson they've stolen from me, harassed me, threatened to beat me up and broken my property. I've never retailed just reported them to the police. I've made maybe 10 police call outs and it stopped them for maybe a month.

My children are mixed and as soon as they seen the kids dad that's when it started getting so much worse

They've now gotten a new build because they've endlessly complained to get a move. I was offered a potential move last year but they said don't get pushed out your house so I decided to try and stay and put up with it. My oldest daughter is autistic and wouldn't cope moving school etc and I couldn't be guaranteed to be at the same school. But I feel I've been pig headed and missed out on a new build.

How can such horrible people get a new build

OP posts:
Original poster
waad · 06/12/2024 01:42

Never retaliated*

OP posts:
FetchezLaVache · 06/12/2024 02:00

Don't understand.

You were offered a move but "they" said you should stay put, so now your neighbours have been offered a new build and you regret not accepting your offer?

Who are "they" whose advice to stay you took?

What kind of property were you offered? Would it have been more suitable to your needs than your current accommodation?

Original poster
waad · 06/12/2024 02:04

@FetchezLaVache housing officers suggested to not be pushed out of my house

Yeah much more suitable and it's not too far from the kids school. It's a whole house rather than a 4 in the block in a much safer area.

I can only think they got the new build from endlessly complaining whereas I'd not do that.

OP posts:
Original poster
waad · 06/12/2024 02:06

@FetchezLaVache I wasn't actually offered a move just offered the opportunity to be put on a list for a potential move but they said it's very unlikely in my area staying within the school area and that it's just such a long list

Somehow my neighbours got move to the top of the list and got to stay only 5 mins away from were we stay. All this after harassing and bullying me and the tenants who lived here before me.

OP posts:
DaftyLass · 06/12/2024 02:11

On the good side now you won't have to deal with them, your DD can stay at her school, and you can still get in the list for future opportunities

Original poster
waad · 06/12/2024 02:21

@DaftyLass this is very true but these offers only happen every so often it's probably about 5-10 years apart. The one they were offered has taken about 7 years and it's unlikely there will be any new houses near where I stay local to their school.

It's just such a paint they harassed and stole from me then managed to get a new build.

It's very unlikely any new builds will come near the school

OP posts:
CuriousGeorge80 · 06/12/2024 03:06

If your daughter is already at a school, she wouldn't need to change schools just because you move.

Agix · 06/12/2024 03:41

YABU. You were offered the chance and said no. Your neighbours may have been moved to the top of the list if they have disabilities - mental health issues or ND, which as a side note may be why any additional sound could be pretty unbearable for them. I know its par for the course, but kids running and playing on your ceiling is pretty loud, and they didnt choose it.

Ultimately you should have said yes to the offer, and it could have been you moving. They had to move one of you, as it obviously wasnt working. You said no, they said yes, and now theyre the ones moving.

FatsiaJaponicaInTheGarden · 06/12/2024 03:50

Sounds like it might have been awful for both of you. They may have been really struggling with the noise (and yes handled it badly - but it's also hard to handle when it gets too much and you can't escape).

One of you needed to move. You now dont have them beneath you. I think just look to your own journey. They were causing you hastle and now won't.

Its not worth comparing lots in life as that's a futile game and only makes us depressed. From experience...

CrispieCake · 06/12/2024 05:00

Focus on the positives here, which are that you will no longer have to put up with them and they will be someone else's problem.

TheYeaSayer · 06/12/2024 05:02

Concentrate on the positive side here: your awful neighbours are going, so hopefully you and your children will now be able to relax and enjoy the home you do have.

User820825 · 06/12/2024 05:08

How do you know that they have got some wonderful new build?

I think you should try to forget that they may have ended up better off from the situation. In reality, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that they are leaving.

Dontwearmysocks · 06/12/2024 05:12

What’s great about a new build? You said no to the chance because you didn’t want to though? So YABU.

you had incompatible neighbours and now you won’t?

JustMyView13 · 06/12/2024 05:43

It doesn’t sound like the two are related.
If you had agreed to go onto the new build list, you wouldn’t necessarily have been offered the property or location they have been given. As you mention, the list is several years long. They’ve probably been on there for many years.
I would just be so happy to see the back of them, I’d be waving them off on moving day.

Meadowfinch · 06/12/2024 05:49

Surely you should be pleased that they've moved and your dd won't have to.

Obviously there will be new neighbours moving in downstairs soon and it would be lovely if you could have new friends below rather than grumblers, so have a think about what the last neighbours complained about. Have you got wooden floors? Would rugs or carpet deaden any noise? Etc.

Enjoy your new start 🤗

Original poster
waad · 06/12/2024 15:55

My neighbours came back today to get the last of their stuff and cut my internet wire. I found a blue wire in my garden and my internet is broken - this is what I've put up with for the past almost 3 years.

This is who gets given a nice brand new huge new build from their council with their full rent paid

My neighbour also told another neighbour she left her husband. He moved out for months on end and she said he was abusing her (this isn't true they were loved up moving out kissing and giggling). Soon as she got the offer he moved back in full time. She got offered TWO new builds and declined them. And said no only where we live. She got a fast track new build lying her husband abuses her.

What a horrible world we live in.

OP posts:
Original poster
waad · 06/12/2024 15:57

Faking domestic abuse to get a new build and refusing anything but a new build exactly where she wanted it.

They couldn't get moved at all before because our noise levels didn't exceed unacceptable levels and they were adequately housed so she made up domestic abuse.

Im at a lost for words

OP posts:
Ihopeithinkiknow · 06/12/2024 16:09

You can't just make up domestic abuse to get a new house, me and my daughter have just had to be moved for our own safety and it was a joint effort between the housing association, police and social services who had been having regular meetings to discuss how best to help us and even then it took nearly 6 months and not into a new build. I get that you are pissed off but it's unlikely you know the full story and because they sound like horrible cunts it's making you think they are being rewarded for being horrible cunts. If you don't get on then how do you know all these details because all you are getting are rumours and hearsay. Be glad they are finally out of your hair and now you can have a relaxing twatty neighbour free Christmas

Jostuki · 06/12/2024 16:15

Yes they sound awful but you sound incredibly bitter and are not focusing on the fact they have now gone from your life!

Bleating on about them as if they got one over in you when all they have done is seize the opportunity to move as they hates having you as a neighbour as much as you hated them!

Original poster
waad · 06/12/2024 16:16

@Ihopeithinkiknow I'm so sorry you went through that

I think it must depend on where you stay and the local council. My friends mum did the same thing and when split from her husband said he was abusive with no proof etc and got a house within a week.

OP posts:
Jumell · 06/12/2024 16:18

DaftyLass · 06/12/2024 02:11

On the good side now you won't have to deal with them, your DD can stay at her school, and you can still get in the list for future opportunities

Exactly what I thought !

Original poster
waad · 06/12/2024 16:28

@Jostuki yeah this is true. It's the most relaxed I've ever felt in the house last night with them gone

But he's been seen driving through the street randomly this afternoon. I don't think this ends here and he will continue to harass me. His own brother told me he's a horrible man

OP posts:
another1bitestheduck · 06/12/2024 16:42

DaftyLass · 06/12/2024 02:11

On the good side now you won't have to deal with them, your DD can stay at her school, and you can still get in the list for future opportunities

this
You could see it as glass half empty that they are getting a new build and you didn't. But from what you've said there was no guarantee that you would have got a new build anyway, you just said no to the opportunity of being put on a list. So you could have both stayed in the same place with them bothering you for years.

Instead, glass half full, they are leaving, your daughter gets to stay in her school, you don't have to deal with all the aggro of moving. New builds aren't necessarily all they are cracked up to be - often rooms are smaller, no storage, limited parking etc compared to older council stock.

EmotionalSupportBiscuit · 06/12/2024 16:48

You said it had taken seven years for them to get this move? So they’ve been on the list for years - well before the three years you’ve lived above them.

I agree they sound awful. Focus on the positives - you are well rid of them. If you see them around, ignore.

Original poster
waad · 06/12/2024 19:53

@EmotionalSupportBiscuit yeah if you have no serious reason to move. She has gotten that move within 2 months for lying saying her husband abuses her. She got quick listed

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