Asking for more child maintenance?

[Sylviaplathforever]

Single mom , son turned 3.
I get £150 per month.
His father is around (play dates , walks) never had him for more than few hours. (He could if he wanted to , never stopped contact but hey … he’s a fairweather parent) My son never slept in his house. His dad never spends money on him (apart from maintenance) he basically makes sure he does bare minimum. Free outdoor play ? Yes sure. Lunch , treat , whatever - forget it.
he works cash in hand here and there. Nothing steady but he’s lately been getting a lot of jobs . Handyman ,£20 hour as he mentioned. Anyway I feel he should pay more . Is that reasonable? Any advice ? Thank you x

Yes, of course he should contribute more. But you probably would be entitled to even less if you went down the official route if it's all cash in hand and he's dodging the system. What a wonderful guy 🥴

@Stirrednshaken yeah i definitely wouldn’t go official route 😥 thanks for reassurance

Definitely reasonable but unlikely to get from him I think. Unfortunately official route would probably say next to nothing and he will know that so it’s relying on his good will!

@Mrsttcno1 its really starting to infuriate me. He’s got all the freedom and his life hasn’t changed. I’m trying to get back to work. Got nursery sorted but he point blank refused to commit to any days having our boy so I can find job easier . (Nursery is obviously term time only and I always worked in retail) I’m living of universal credit which really getting me down and lost all my savings on providing decent early childhood for our boy. Ugh
sorry had to vent

I think you’re pretty screwed here tbh. I know it’s not a race to the bottom, and he’s a piss poor excuse for a parent, but honestly, rocking the boat is unlikely to work out in your favour. With his undeclared income he could get away with giving you far less. I’d try and work it as nicely as you can that the maintenance is barely touching the sides, and you’d really appreciate it if he could either give you an increase or take on some of the childcare as you need to work to keep a roof over his sons head

When ex-DP was working a minimum wage job full time and having DD 2 nights a week, I would get £150 a month, so you definitely should be getting more if your ex isn’t having your DS at all. Unfortunately you’re a bit stuck with him working cash in hand, unless he’s likely to volunteer it to you after speaking about it. Do you think he’d be open to paying more?

You can ask but he can say no my ex is also cash in hand so I get £7 a week for the kids. If you don't have proof not much you can do..

@CandyCaneSpoon this is absolutely disgusting. Only a man could do such thing . Honestly I’m loosing all my faith in them.
no woman and a child should go through such “support”. And unfortunately I’ve heard a lot of us have to face such disgrace.

@didistutter56 I would have to tread lightly. He is a narc with a bad temper (hence why I’m not with him)
from one side I know he will love asking me for more money and being in control . And probably saying no. And I would love to tell him just to shove it up altogether. But then again no , I’m not going to make his sweet little life even better.

@Anon1274 yes , I am screwed that’s for sure lol and playing it nice will be an agony.
but I guess I can do it for my little one.
it’s absolutely insane that I have to ask. Where is his honour and sense of responsibility 😭 clearly not where it should be .