To feel so left out in work

[Demigreen]

Ive been in my current job about 6 months, in that time we've had the addition of new staff. At the moment I just feel really left out, the staff who were here before I started all group together and the newer staff are all considerably younger than me having just graduated and are all very friendly with each other meeting up regularly outside of work etc.

Everyone for the most part is friendly saying hello etc but im not really included in conversations or lunch trips etc. its quite a big team, much bigger than my previous job and lots of big personalities dominating the groups. Just feel a bit sad in work and dread lunchtime as inevitably sit at my desk on my own while others head out, im never invited and don't feel comfortable inviting myself.

AiBU to feel this way about as I know it's just a job and I know im there to work not socialise

Is there one who's more approachable who you could talk to and say you'd like to come along for lunch this week? (Assuming you would!)

Can you invite them to do something?

They are all friendly but they seem close and id feel a bit like a spare part especially inviting myself.
Its making me miss my old job, there were less than 10 so everyone just chatted together, went for lunch together etc some people were close but no one was really left out

Sometimes ill say im going to grab a coffee if anyone fancies coming but everyone says they are busy

If you're not comfortable inviting yourself, and nobody is inviting you, then nothing will change. You'll need to get your elbows out a bit to not be so invisible. "Alright if I come along?" "Ooh I'll come with if that's alright" "I'm sick of sitting by myself, I'll join you"

Are you boss/team leader OP?

If someone mentions going somewhere to pick up a sandwich, you could say something like “I could do with stretching my legs, do you mind if I walk with you”?

This is a no fun for you, but I wouldn't push it at the moment. Setting up a dynamic where you are clearly wanting to be included but the others aren't all that keen, is uncomfortable for everyone.
The most important thing to remember is that this doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you or that you're unlikable, you've just been unlucky to have arrived at the time you did, with friendship groups set up and the new arrivals much younger.
I'd say carry on being open and friendly, and with any luck one day you'll turn out to have some interests in common with a colleague, or someone will ask your advice and like the way you responded, and you'll gradually feel more included. Or someone around your own age will arrive and you'll instantly bond with them.

Not the boss or leader but a bit more experienced and paid more, I think it might be an age thing possibly especially with the newer ones. I think because ive been eating at my desk so long** its become accepted so perhaps people dont say

Do you need to be friends with them? I only ask as if they are friendly and chatty that’s fine, do you have to go out with them etc.
I am friendly but just get on with work and prefer my own space most lunchtimes.

My last job there were three of us over forty, and the rest were under twenty. When the other two weren’t there there were definitely times I felt on my own, and they definitely spoke differently to me, not in a bad way, but just very polite and a bit removed. It was easier when I relaxed into the role of ‘the older one’ as opposed to trying to be on their level, they chatted more naturally with me and we had more of a laugh

If the team is quite big there's the likelihood that there will be more new starters you may be able to befriend.

Its not really needing to be friends with those specific people but I just dont seem to have anyone im particularly close to, even just for chats in the office over a coffee etc, I dont know if its just me and my personality? I have a nice group of friends outside work but we are all so busy we only meet up every few weeks etc so I am feeling the loneliness, I work 8:30-7 most days so by the time im home im exhausted so and dont have the time/energy for other groups meet ups etc

Aw it's a bit shit to feel left out isn't it. You just need a pal.
Perhaps there's more to unpick though - you are working very long hours, is that necessary? Is it worth it? If you'd more to look forward to after work it might not bother you so much.

I'm in a similar situation, but here about 18 months now, in the office 4 days a week. I work in a software company, and I'm 20 years older than most of my colleagues. A few observations on my experience, which might be different to yours:

• I am there to work. I'm really not there to make friends.
• 6 months is a really short time. I'm not a very social person, and it takes me longer to make a connection, but that does not bother me
• I make an effort to remember people's names, and do use their name when speaking with them
• I'm older, more experienced and better paid than the others. I'm also stronger technically than most. I'll offer to help if I'm aware of someone having an problem, and see if I can help
• Lots of the younger people here wear headphones, it always feels like a "do not disturb" message to me ... so don't wear earphones :)
• I do bring in some treats and leave there in shared space when I'm back from a business trip, or visiting family ... we have all that stuff here in abundance for free ... so I buy something local from the area I was in ... I'm know for that!

I've got to know people through project work really, and that takes more than a few months in our area. Some of the people I got to know I like, some of them I really don't ... and would not like to go for a coffee with them ... so be careful what you wish for :)