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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mum in school car park

38 replies

Hopper123 · 05/12/2024 16:06

Just want to know if I'm being unreasonable or not. Today at school pick up as I was buckling my child in I accidentally bumped another mums car with our door. It was a very light bump and I caught the door and held it as soon as it happened to ensure it didn't happen again. There was no damage to her car and again it was literally the lightest bump hardly made a sound and couldn't have made more than a very light tap. For context the car parking spaces are the usual small ones and I was parked between my lines on the space I was in not encroaching on her space at all and there was space enough for me to have the door open slightly and fit myself in to get the seat belt on. She went absolutely off on one about how I shouldn't park like that and how I'd parked too close to her car. I had already apologised twice and checked her car for damage of which there was none. In the end when she kept going on I just calmly rolled my eyes walked to my side of the car and got in as clearly nothing was going to be gained from talking to her anymore i had already apologised and there was zero damage to sort out. I don't understand what she wanted out of going on and on if there had been damage I could understand it but there wasn't. Obviously I do need to be more careful when getting in and out but surely everyone at some point has lightly bumped the car next to them with a door by accident in a supermarket for example. I'm always super careful won't let kids let themselves out in tight spaces and buffer their door with my hand if we're parked near cars so this is not usual behaviour for me. Aibu tonjustbhave ended up ignoring her when she kept on and on about it after I apologised? Now I'll have to see her at school and it'll just be bloody awkward. If there had been damage I would of course have sorted out any insurances and ensured it was paid for alongside a grovelling apology but there was zero for goodness sake.

OP posts:
GridlockonMain · 05/12/2024 16:08

YANBU, her reaction was over the top. She must find life very stressful if every non-event gets her that het up.

ICarriedTheWatermelon · 05/12/2024 16:09

YANBU, and you did the right thing in apologising and ensuring you hadn’t caused any damage before you left.

Parking spaces are stupidly small these days. Apparently they’re still based on 1970s cars!

Itiswhysofew · 05/12/2024 16:14

OTT response from her, considering you checked everything afterwards. She must enjoy the drama. However, don't be surprised if you get an insurance claim from herGrin

custardpyjamas · 05/12/2024 16:18

Did you take a picture to show the position of the cars and for proof that there was no damage?

Thatcastlethere · 05/12/2024 16:18

Yeah that was massively OTT of her she sounds nuts..
Actually I shouldn't say that coz it's possible she genuinely has mental health issues...
Even if she doesn't she may be going thru something right now..
Still doesn't give her the right to take it out on other people.
But rest assured her reaction wasn't justified. A simple 'please be careful' at most would have sufficed. Personally I'd not have said anything at all unless there was damage.

HardyEagle · 05/12/2024 16:19

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

JawsCushion · 05/12/2024 16:21

It doesn't have to be awkward. You did nothing wrong so don't be worrying.

MalewhoisLaffinalltheway · 05/12/2024 16:24

If you have to use use those type of parking spaces a lot, might be worth getting some of those rubber 'sleeves' to slide over the part of the doors that could come into contact with someone parking next to you. They're only a couple of quid in somewhere like Halfords.

Hopper123 · 05/12/2024 16:39

No I've just seen her on the yard at pick up time don't know what year her child is in. I never have issues with anyone and don't get involved in drama but now I just think it's going to be awkward and she's probably going to hold a grudge based on her reaction.

OP posts:
Hopper123 · 05/12/2024 16:40

MalewhoisLaffinalltheway · 05/12/2024 16:24

If you have to use use those type of parking spaces a lot, might be worth getting some of those rubber 'sleeves' to slide over the part of the doors that could come into contact with someone parking next to you. They're only a couple of quid in somewhere like Halfords.

I've not seen those have you got a link might be useful

OP posts:
Hopper123 · 05/12/2024 16:44

custardpyjamas · 05/12/2024 16:18

Did you take a picture to show the position of the cars and for proof that there was no damage?

No but I was thinking on the way home that I wished I had. Unfortunately I don't think about whipping my phone out in these situations but obviously would have been helpful if I had. Maybe she had just had a bad day we've all been there I guess might have been the camels straw

OP posts:
Lostcards · 08/12/2024 08:01

If you find yourself being looked or stared at issue a breezy good morning, hello, etc, with a huge smile.

those type love to think they’ve made you feel awkward and seeing you squirm makes their day.

I had something similar and was told to do this but also on a random occasion seek said person out and walk past with a big HI. I only did it once and she ignores me now.

ExceededUsefulEconomicLife · 08/12/2024 08:17

Just smile when you see her. It may be that something is happening in the background and this was the proverbial straw.

I'm on the fence here. I have this happen regularly at school pick up and can see they've tried to be careful so say nothing but I was at McDonald's once when my car rocked and I heard a bang over my phone call. I got out and did say "you've just whacked my car" the man was adamant there was no damage but hadn't looked. It's white so a Quick Look with his car and door and hand in the way and I agreed it wasn't damaged but it was a hell of a whack and he should be more careful. He was putting his kid in the back seat and seemed to think it was his god given right to do whatever as he had a kid. When he drove off, I took a closer look and it was damaged. Luckily surface level and I got it off but I've still got a bee in my bonnet about selfish people causing damage to other people's stuff because they don't care. His side of the story would have been very different when he got home, I just know it.

Onthefence87 · 08/12/2024 08:23

YADNBU.....i've come to realise that being a mum in the school grounds is not much different to being a child in it.....the 'bitchy girls' have grown up to be 'bitchy women'.

My friend had something similar to you happen a couple of years ago....was sleep deprived with a newborn and accidentally bumped another car in the packed chaotic carpark.No damage to other car but was some fancy 4x4 and the driver and some friend of hers chimed in and they made a huge fuss about it....some people just get off on making others feel like crap and love creating drama!

fiorentina · 08/12/2024 08:38

You were polite and considerate in your response and she overreacted. Assume she was having a bad day and maybe now feeling stupid about her reaction. And then contjurw to act as you do at school pick up going forward. I doubt she will say anything. And if she does I’d kill with kindness. A smile and continue your day.

Pherian · 08/12/2024 08:53

You apologised twice. If you see her again and she’s aggressive like this just tell the school. She’s no right to target you and harass you over a door bump - which caused no damage.

Creamteasandbumblebees · 08/12/2024 08:55

It might have been a bit over the top but maybe she's had damage to her car before.
We have a lovely, expensive new car. We take very good care of it, always park as far away from others as possible and always park responsibility. We have had to pay for damage that wasn't our fault, twice! Both times where it has been hit in a car park.
Perhaps she has experienced this and is about as hacked off as I would be if someone hit my car with their door!

uniqtwo · 08/12/2024 08:58

MalewhoisLaffinalltheway · 05/12/2024 16:49

https://www.halfords.com/motoring/car-accessories/exterior-protection/halfords-bodyguard-clear-door-trim-2-x-3m-265626.html?_gl=15zpfrh_upMQ.._gaMTQzMzQ4Njk5My4xNzMzNDE3MTA3_ga_VK44BRER97*MTczMzQxNzEwNy4xLjAuMTczMzQxNzEyMi4wLjAuMA..

See if that works.

Or go onto Halfords website and it's called Bodyguard Clear door trim.

they used to do it in lengths of about 6 inches and you just slid it over the edge of the door. Not sure if they do it like that anymore.

Just some advice to add to these, when I part-exchanged my last car I had these on and the dealership said they don’t recommend the use of these. Apparently grit etc can get caught under and cause damage. Not sure how true this is but thought I’d let you know 🤔

CosyLemur · 08/12/2024 09:02

YABVU! Did you ask her to check for damage? Or did you just tell her there was no damage?

LlynTegid · 08/12/2024 09:02

Agree you should have taken photos. Agree it is an overreaction.

If either of you have SUVs or indeed could walk to and from school, then it is also unreasonable, but two wrongs don't make a right.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 08/12/2024 09:06

I had a similar thing in a hospital car park, the lightest touch and no damage, I apologised at once but the other driver seemed to feel there was still an issue and told me to wait while she phoned her husband! Try to forget about it OP , it’s just an overreaction.

Workingthroughit · 08/12/2024 09:23

Silly girls like that require nothing except a blank look and a patronizing smile

TimeTravelledDoctor · 08/12/2024 09:29

The other day I had someone tap my car, trying to reverse into a space next to me. Old guy picking up grandchildren. He never bothered getting out to check. So he either didn’t realise, or care. I made a point in getting out, checking my car and taking a photo of the rear of his. On the rain. He did look up at me as I did this, but didn’t say anything. I’ve had enough bumps with our various driveways to know at that speed, there’d be no damage. It was just the fact that he didn’t say anything which annoyed me. I wasn’t up for saying anything though. Am loaded with cold. I wouldn’t have shouted though. These things happen.

Manthide · 08/12/2024 09:50

Our last car had sliding doors and I do have to keep reminding dd3 now to mind the door when she opens it. I would just assume she was having a bad day. Car parking spaces are so small nowadays it's a struggle to get out whilst trying not to touch the other car. Glad I no longer have to get dc into car seats!

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