Parents moving further away

[christmasiscoming24]

My parents currently live 30-40 minutes away. I always visit them, they claim they don't like driving for long periods of time anymore as they're now 70. My dad's health also hasn't been great and my mam has some mobility issues.
They have now decided to sell and move 2.5 hours away to a house with no local amenities or shops nearby and the nearest shop is a 30 minute walk. I've already mentioned to them as they get older they may appreciate having a local shop to pick up the bread and milk etc or my mum who doesn't drive at all used to go for a short walk to the local shops most days just to get out of the house. They are also moving away from all their family and friends and will know no one on this new area.
They're now saying that they cannot wait for me to come down and visit them but I've had to remind them that as I work and have children in various things at the weekend I will not be able to visit as frequent as I was. Their solution is I come down and stay over night but I would need to get someone to mind my dog as they don't want dogs in their house. I've told them I will not be paying to have my dog minded. It would cost me 40-60 pounds. I am wondering if I am BU here. For context they currently could come out to visit me and take public transport but they choose not to. I also didn't mind driving 30-40 minutes to them and back. Thanks

I think this is very shortsighted of them.
They are going from a pop in distance to an overnight or 2 at a time.

Why are they doing this? Financial reasons? Idealistic country life scenario? You need to be honest and direct. They are doing the opposite of what they should be doing. As people are older they need human interaction, amenities medical services and obviously family nearby. Lack of a social community is a shortcut to the grave.

What's their rationale for moving?

It sounds illadvised but ultimately there's not much you can do except outline the barriers in your way to visiting/caring for them when they get older

Oh dear, you're absolutely right to be very concerned by this. What reason have they given you for making this very rash decision?

Can you sit them down and gently point out all the issues with this? From personal experience I know the ageing process unfortunately accelerates in your seventies and it's good to be close to amenities such as local shops, transport, doctors surgeries and hospitals if possible.

Do you think they're just floating this idea, but actually have no intention of following it through? Is their house easy to sell? Do they realise how much hassle and work is involved in a move? Why do they want to move -i.e. what will they gain for all the very many losses they will experience?

Just to add my personal experience - we moved in our late sixties from the countryside to be nearer amenities and our family. It was challenging, but do-able and overall it has been a success.

Yes, there are certain things we miss - the country idyll with our orchard, juicing apples in the autumn, etc. But I love having a manageable garden, modern house, bus stop outside to nearest city, village shops and pubs within walking distance but more important of all a short distance to my family and grandchildren.

You need to be a little bit brutal here and explain the reality that you will not have the time to do overnight visits. Also stress how difficult it will be for your mum, as she doesn't drive. Oh dear!!!

Why are they moving?

Have they said why they're moving to a more isolated area away from family and friends? It's quite unusual at their age, most elderly people want to be closer to family in case of needing more help as they get older.

Having moved away from home as a teenager and living 2.5 hours from my family I now see the problems. Trying to help my dad care for my terminally ill mum from 100 miles away (Edinburgh to Newcastle so takes ages as no dual carriageway) whilst holding down a job was so hard and I would love to be able just to pop in and see my dad more often. He's 92.

At 70 my parents were fit and well and off on holiday loads we visited each other but as you say it can't be too often as everyone has commitments.

My daughter now lives 20 minutes from me and we can just pop in to each other. I think moving away at 70 is ok as long as you are fit and accept fewer visits and you should plan a move back as you get older. If you have the money to spend on house moves.