To think this is totally rude

[631Cit]

I volunteer at my child's football team and during games I stand with the two coaches to help manage the kids, check times for subs, keep kids warming up on the sides etc.

One of the parents seems to have massive issues asking me any team related questions and will ask my husband about fixtures etc (despite H having no formal role at the club) when I'm literally standing next to them. He literally looks past me and doesn't engage.

Last night we played a match. The coaches at the end came over and did the usual hand shake / thanks for the game etc. both (male) opposition coaches literally ignored my existence to shake hands with our male coaches. I was in between the pair of them, so they both literally skipped past me.

It's so rude!!!! Are we living in the Stone Age still????

It cannot be a surprise that football is massively sexist?
Yes, it is rude, yes they are moronic. And you can change the views of the next generation - the boys on your team - by doing what you do. So thanks!

You would like to think in grassroots this sort of stupidity would be pushed to one side!

I wonder if they see your role as ‘less than’ as it’s not a coaching role. They see you as more of a caring figure and largely irrelevant to the importance of the game?

I’d always call it out, something like ‘Does good sportsmanship not extend to shaking hands with women?’ And is your DH answering the man? Or is he supporting you and telling him that he’ll have to ask you because he doesn’t actually work for the club?

I'd agree with @WilfredsPies here in relation to the handshakes, and if your DH is answering on your behalf he should be saying "Oh, you actually need to speak with @631Cit about that. I don't have any role in the club apart from being a parent."

I'd also make the other coaches aware that the opposition team didn't shake my hand after the match and perhaps the referee as it's not in the spirit of the game any more.

Maybe there’s also some fear about engaging with a woman in case they get accused of something or seem overly familiar. They should at least be talking to you though but I’m not surprised they don’t immediately shake hands. You might need to offer first so it’s clear you’re okay with physical touch.

I think a lot of men are scared of women these days. They don't want to risk saying or doing anything that might be seen as inappropriate so the easiest thing to do is just ignore us. Of course, the men who do this are usually the ones who wouldn't have said or done anything inappropriate in the first place - the ones who do those things have no such problem in engaging with their victims.