Am I the only one struggling?

[Gone12]

Thjs isn’t a cry for help or really an AIBU, it’s just more of a hope and pray I’m not the only one. I’m really struggling financially and especially coming up to Christmas it is so stressful. I hear all my friends saying they’re managing to save hundreds a month etc.. I guess what I’m trying to ask is, does anyone else find it hard to “save” money. I just feel like a failure not being able to save money and having to struggle from payday to payday.

You’re not being unreasonable. Everything is extremely expensive. My only advice would be to start small - even if you save £1, £5 here and there, you will feel slightly better for starting and Christmas presents don’t need to be expensive.

Have you thought about the Plum app? It skims a little bit of money every month without you noticing and it all soon adds up. That said, we had years of living hand to mouth and never being able to save. It’s too late for this Christmas, but perhaps starting in January you could plan ahead? Eg buy Xmas cards in the sale in January? buy some tinned or frozen food each month, Above all, don’t be tempted to spend more than you can afford this Xmas. DD has different little saving pots for different events eg car insurance, friends birthdays, days out. Finally, it doesn’t help to look at other people. They are on different salaries and have different commitments and not everyone tells the truth.

Of course you’re not the only one. And you’ve got enough on your plate just trying to get by, without worrying about whether you’re the only person who isn’t saving and everyone else is stashing away thousands each year, so stop putting that unnecessary pressure on yourself.

It’s my personal experience that the people who are in similarly paid jobs to you will always have slightly different circumstances. Like they’ll might have some help from somewhere that they’ve kept very quiet about, or they’ve done some overtime, or sold stuff on eBay, or are incredibly tight with money to the point of ridiculousness.

Thanks everyone. It's very hard not to feel down especially when for instance on here there are loads of posts about how many holidays/how much has been spent on holidays, Christmas presents etc

Not everything people say is true.

Probably not helpful to read posts like that if they bother you

Comparison is the thief of joy
We could never afford a holiday, just going to have a cozy holiday time at home with a nice meal. I do the stockings as main presents with one or two bigger things each.
Growing up I had friends with more and less money. The girl with the most money, and the most indulged, was not happy at all and grew up an addict (now happily in recovery). It is not everything. I completely understand how hard money worries are, not to dismiss that, but if the worries are mainly about things like providing for the holidays I hope that helps.

Hide those posts if they upset you.

First of all, plenty of people simply have bigger salaries, cheaper housing, or no child care costs.

second, many people spend themselves into debt.

very importantly, one thing I observed when i was young and broke was that there were two types of budgeting. People who budget for the year or even longer and always keep a non-zero floor in their bank account and people who no budget by paycheck. The ones who budget by paycheck might even have more money, but they were always in financial distress. Outgoings don’t line up perfectly with paychecks. Some expenses are irregular. If you want to get ahead of your financial situation you have to budget for long periods of time and then subdivide.

Wee are sensible with money, work hard, paid a god rate, have savings but lately we feel like we are haemorrhaging money. Easy to spend and not so easy to build back up!
It's necessities tho, not luxury that's having us handing out money hand over fist!

I feel your pain.

I am permanently skint and I find it impossible to save actual money but what I have done this year is started shopping for little bits in like February, I saved £350 with park Christmas savings and bought some presents on Prime days in the summer. I also only buy presents for my own kids so that helps.

With holidays I book them 18months plus in advance and pay monthly, I always find a great deal and I let the location be determined by the price. TUI you can book up to October 2026 already with zero deposit.

Thank you everyone.