Will try to be brief, seems so complicated and I’m bored with myself thinking about it!
I made a new female friend at the time I was separating from my now ex-husband a few years ago. We immediately hit it off and became great friends. We did loads of cool stuff together and had a real laugh. I struggle to make and maintain friendships and really want more girlfriends so she was super important to me. She was very critical of my new partner but I was OK with it as we got on so well otherwise and was generally pretty supportive. After a time I became aware that she was socialising with my ex-husband who she’d met through a mutual friend. I spoke to both her and him separately to highlight who they each were to me, and they both claimed to have no idea. I described her as my best friend to him. I was upset about it but tried not to get too hung up about it, people have to have their own lives. They went on holiday together with some of their mutual friends which felt really ick. Around this time she told me she didn’t have ‘best friends’ which I thought was probably prompted by my use of the term to my ex husband who had
likely passed it on. I thought, OK, it’s fine for me to feel one way and her another. Earlier this year she became more distant, and when I wanted to see her to celebrate her birthday she was vague about plans and didn’t make time to see me. I then saw on her social media that she had gone to a festival with my ex. Hated this but I didn’t say anything, not my business. I invited her to celebrate a milestone birthday with me this year and she refused to come to any events or give a reason why, even though I asked her what was going on and had I done something wrong, so I gave up. That was late summer. She has just texted me asking how I am. I am having a very strong internal ‘eff you’ reaction. Am I being unreasonable to ignore her??