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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feel totally out of the loop at work

13 replies

elfoff23 · 04/12/2024 11:14

Started a new job 16 months ago. Initially the team seemed very nice. There is some office bitching and politics but I suppose you get that everywhere. I was placed in an office with three other ladies who I got on well with and felt like I settled in.

A few months later management decided on a whole office reshuffle and I was basically put in a small office (basically a cupboard!) at the end of a corridor on my own. Due to the nature of my work it does make sense because my job is slightly different to everyone else's which is what I told myself at the time.

But a year on it's wearing thin. I hear laughter and chatting all the time from other offices while I'm sat alone. I miss out on so much information about things that are going on purely because I'm not there to hear it. There are people in the organisation who still don't know my name a year on because I get forgotten about. If ever they need me for out of hours work (overtime or events) I get asked (told) last minute with no notice. It's basically an afterthought like 'oh elf will do it' but they don't bother asking.

My boss appears to have no interest in me or my job. If I ever try to approach her with ideas I can literally see her eyes glaze over. She's looked at her phone mid conversation many times. They don't seem to know what I do and are quite happy for me to be shut away in an office. Right now the rest of the team have left the office to go to the canteen for a Christmas buffet and totally forgot to ask me. The bloody cleaning lady brought in little gifts for everyone and forgot me, clearly having no idea who I am.

I might as well be Harry bloody Potter in the cupboard under the stairs! I'm at the point now where I feel so undervalued and invisible that I might just leave. But I like the work and the organisation as a whole. Just can't believe people can be so rude.

OP posts:
icelolly12 · 04/12/2024 11:18

Sounds awful and if I was you I'd be looking for a new job

LozzaChops101 · 04/12/2024 11:18

We spend so much of our lives at work that I think if you can avoid being miserable then you should. I’d start looking around. To be honest the disinterested boss is the biggest red flag for me.

RubyRedBow · 04/12/2024 11:27

I’d look for a new job too. I’m sorry to hear you are being treated this way.

Timeforaglassofwine · 04/12/2024 11:31

That sound really isolating. You might as well as if you can work from home (whilst you look for another job!).

elfoff23 · 04/12/2024 11:45

Timeforaglassofwine · 04/12/2024 11:31

That sound really isolating. You might as well as if you can work from home (whilst you look for another job!).

I did ask about this on a day when I was feeling particularly annoyed. But apparently they don't want to set the precedent to other staff. Not that anyone would notice.

OP posts:
ginasevern · 04/12/2024 14:34

It sounds as though your manager doesn't respect you or your role and your removal from the main team is sort of personal. In which case, I'm afraid you're looking at another job. I really feel for you - I've been in a similar position. I was also the only one left out of the Christmas buffet and it was only a relatively small team. It really hurts.

RubyRedBow · 04/12/2024 18:44

Can you speak to anyone else about it? Maybe be more forward and just join them in the canteen etc next time.

Vaxtable · 04/12/2024 18:49

I would speak to your manager and explain exactly how you feel and what you would like to happen, eg move desk into the main room or whatever. I would quote the examples you have here about being forgotten and that it’s unacceptable. I would then follow it up with an email detailing everything and anything agreed

if that gets nowhere then I would go to your managers manager.

Orders76 · 04/12/2024 18:59

Very low budget and simple suggestion, although I appreciate seems a bit mad....

Explain you are feeling isolated and ask if the door can be removed making it an open cubicle with the doors hinges filled.
Lockable drawers for any confidential information, and you could go to meeting rooms for confidential calls.
Name and title plate for outside cubicle.
Finally are you on all group emails and your manager needs to create channels everyone is on like Ms teams.
If I wanted to keep the job there's no way I'd stay locked into a cupboard.

elfoff23 · 04/12/2024 21:14

The door is open, it's just nobody comes down that way. It's hard to explain. I don't think they are nasty people who are deliberately leaving me out. I just feel very much like the new person still. Just unrecognised and unimportant. I get invited to work socials and things like that but on a day to day basis I'm just alone and feel a bit forgotten. I probably need to just woman up and remember I'm there to work not socialise.

OP posts:
Ace56 · 04/12/2024 21:17

I would definitely be looking for a new job. Your manager’s attitude towards you on its own is reason to do so. In the meantime, can you ask if you can move desks to sit with others?

LostittoBostik · 04/12/2024 21:20

icelolly12 · 04/12/2024 11:18

Sounds awful and if I was you I'd be looking for a new job

Same.

I would look for a new job while also taking directly to your line manager about how the structure of the company is undermining the value of the role and making it harder to do a good job and suggest which team you could/should be merged into

HalfMumHalfBiccit · 04/12/2024 22:57

I’d tell HR. Talk to management. It’s affecting your work and mental health. You feel excluded from the team. In some ways this exclusion is like bullying.yes ask to move.
also look for other jobs.

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