DH always available

[bubbariley]

DH has very good job and provides well, for which I am very grateful (1 DS now left home). Never takes full leave allowance, but recently following a particularly busy period I persuaded him to take 3 days off (I wasn't able to) and go on a walking break (his only hobby). Delighted that he took up the offer, but on his return he told me that the company had rung him 6 times (on his personal mobile) and he had taken the calls each time. So disappointed that they rang him - and that he answered! He has a deputy. He's talking about compressing his hours to 9 day fortnight prior to retirement (61), but what's the point as they will inevitably ring him on his days off?. AIBU to be fed up? WWYD?

I think it’s sort of expected! I worked in care, and got calls when off, I ignored them.
Your husband should have declined them ,unless part of contract

can he not manage this conversation with them?

Could he have a separate works phone that is only on during working hours?

He can manage this himself, don't seek out things to fret over. Will you both be ok for money if you don't have any work pension?
Edited to add: I don't mean that to sound patronising, I would be worried about money for myself if I hadn't had a job for years.

I think there are some roles where this is expected. I trust my second-in-command when I'm away, but if she wanted advice, or it were an emergency, I'd answer the phone. Anyone else would get redirected to her!

This is your DHs boundary to set I'm afraid, not yours. He obviously wants to answer calls out of work time, so unless he is sharing that it is causing an issue for him, it's not your choice. However, if you have concerns about the impact of his job on him and/or his health, you could share those with him.

Why is this your problem?

It's the expectation in some very well paid roles. That's just part of the deal.

If he wants a role that doesn't involve that he may need to look for a different role. But it's equally possible he doesn't mind?

(I had a role like that, I knew it would be like that when I took it. I did it and enjoyed it till a health condition meant I switched tack)

Also, it could be because he doesn't keep clear enough records, or doesn't give people enough training to ensure there is resilience .

It's his issue surely?

I have one of these too @bubbariley

It is irritating and worrying and frustrating BUT it is for them to manage. My DH finds it difficult to set boundaries so always takes calls despite having a very talented, experienced (and expensive) team to back him up.

I am working on not getting drawn into it. It’s difficult though when you see them pushing themselves too hard and not resting properly.

It depends on the role
i I think and the generL
work life balance. DH and I are well
paid, have great flexibility and would always answer the phone whilst off. A couple of minute call could save someone else a lot of stress. Both our teams rarely call but we would both answer.

The Boundary is your DH to set.

It’s his issue/fault. He needs to set boundaries, allow for delegations etc. I’ve often found people who make themselves available to the extent your DH has, has this misconception that they’re irreplaceable or important. *im nor saying your DH does this.

AIBU to be fed up? WWYD?

I mean you ABU to be fed up considering it didn't happen to you, you were not even there, so equally didn't affect you.

I wouldn't do anything, surely that's up to your DH to manage?

While it is expected some positions, I still have to meet a company where boundaries can’t be drawn, especially when you are senior. A lot of men (and some women) need this kind of power. They want to be called while off as they feel important. And needed. They do not fully empower their teams or fully delegate and they stay on the top. At 61 I understand that. There would be younger people trying to get his job and he needs to show he is really needed and relevant. Not only to himself but to his boss, peers and team. I would not mind if I was you. It does not seem to affect you really.

I'm not sure why you're so bothered - you wouldn't have even known about it if he hadn't told you!

I voted YABU simply because you are not your DH’s mother. This situation is for HIM to address, and if you are irritated at all, it should be with him for feeding into the problem by taking the calls.

My husband’s work has been like this for years. Then six weeks ago, as an otherwise fit and healthy 45 year old (exercised 4-5 times a week, ran 10k with no trouble) he had a stroke. It’s been earth shattering for us as a family. Luckily he’s recovering remarkably well and the doctors are amazed. The first thing I did was take his work phone away (previously this was his only mobile phone) and buy a new one. The work phone is well and truly switched off for the foreseeable future whilst he spends the next few months completing rehab. I will never let him go back to the ridiculous hours he was working. It’s just not worth the stress.