To keep boundary of no contact with kids ubtil I see proof

[Evecob]

Long story short my stbxh is on bail conditions not to contact me or come to the house for 3 months due to sporadic incidents of DV. The last one putting the kids in danger too with reckless and dangerous driving throwing things at me and verbally abusing me whilst driving, i reported it, and provided evidence of that and past abusive incidents which led to his arrest and removal from the home.

Since then all contact has been through his dad with the kids, as he is now living with his dad. He saw them 4 times in the first 2 weeks. Since then he has made no real attemot to see them. I spoke to a solicitor about his behaviours and they suggested a contact centre or at the very least proof he is taking steps to change his behaviour by attending therapy (we tried therapy during our marriage nothing worked, but i would be willing for him to see kids if he has been going since)
After a couple weeks of no contact from them i sent a message to try and put consistency with visits in place, but requesting proof he has been making positive steps to change his behaviour by consistently attending therapy/DBT as i want to put the kids safety and mental health first. I got a response but it ignored the boundary of proof, just said he could see the kids at weekend but not the following week.

I ignored that message but yesterday (after 4 weeks total not seeing the kids) his dad reached out again saying my ex is free every day and both weekend days, can he see the kids?

Am i right to reiterate the boundary i put in place? Im aware things may get tense after. Im also not comfortable with the inconsistency in communication and attempts to see the children since he left 6.5 weeks ago either.

What would be the best response to this message?

Go through a contact centre, it’s the best way to keep your kids safe in my opinion.

The only way to currently ensure their safety is via a contact centre.

Thanks for the replies.

Does anyone have advice on how i word a reply to his father?

Hi all, another question please..his father came over to pick up more of my ex's belongings, and told me I was being ridiculous feeling threatened by him. I told him firmly his son is a bully and im not ridiculous and wont let you tell me is not abusive, and closed the door on him.

Clearly my ex has gone to his dad telling him im making things up/im the problem.

Next morning i sent his dad a video (sound only) of my ex kicking a door over and over and throwing/ breaking things, swearing. One of many i had kept over the years.. i told him this is who he is and why im protecting our children and myself. Contact with the kids will need to be supervised from now on as still no proof of therapy sent.

Theres been no reply. I didnt expect one and plan on blocking.

Can anything bad happen to me from sending this to his dad?

Probably won't reflect you at your best to be honest just keep your proof for the police and social services his family will never believe you

The message should be clear you will facilitate him seeing the children in a contact centre under the advice of your solicitor

Hi all. Another update.

CPS have decided to charge my ex with common assault based on evidence and potential risk to public.

Does anyone know how long its taking at the moment for a hearing/court date?

He will have to be away from me and the house until a decision is made in court..still no effort to show proof of therapy or supervised contact from his side.