Rude tone

[Creamymuckmuck]

Just a random rant…I just don’t think people understand the power of tone when speaking to others. Your tone can influence the flow of a conversation and how people feel. I just got off the phone with a particular company and the staff on the other end had such a rude tone! He was talking to me without any ounce of professionalism, calling me by my first name (and I know it’s okay to do this, but he was doing it in a patronising way, or it could just be his general rude vibe that made it seem irritating) but I got off the phone feeling so aggravated and annoyed at the lack of telephone manner. I’m the kind of person that always strives to be polite and present myself to others in the best possible way - even when I don’t like what they’re saying/doing. But this person just really rubbed me up the wrong way and I almost snapped 😂 I could feel myself getting all hot and bothered (and not in a good way). I think this is because I’m a really calm and collected person and reacting when angry is not in my nature. Arrrrrghhh😭😂 and it’s not even that he was saying anything particularly bad, it’s just that he sounded so rude and patronising. 😂😂 I’m intrigued to find out if you all have had any similar telephone experiences/how you react in the heat of the moment?

Complain. Most calls are recorded these days

Well, I did say I was going to do that, but I feel like it’s quite complicated, telephone manner is super important and how you say things is just as important if not even more so than what you actually say, therefore, my complaint might just fall through because the guy seemed very sure of himself that my complaint probably wouldn’t lead to anything.

I get exactly where you're coming from. I hate being called by my first name by someone who isn't my friend and hasn't asked me how I prefer to be addressed.
The last time I spoke to a call centre the call handler called me by my full first name (that no one uses because I hate it) and then wouldn't listen to what I actually wanted and kept talking over me. In the end I just stopped talking and eventually he realised that I wasn't responding. Once a state of silence was achieved I asked to be called Ms Mothra and not to use my first name as a) we are not friends & b) he hadn't asked me if it was ok to speak to me as if we knew each other. I then asked him to listen to what it was that I was calling about and then transfer me to the correct dept. because I knew that I was speaking to the incorrect dept. Nope, he still thought that he knew best and continued to use my first name & talk at me until I said that I was ending the call and would call back later but I'd be doing that after service survey before I called back.....he promptly transferred me to the dept. that I wanted. I have NO idea what he thought that he was doing but he was obstreperous from 'hello' to 'goodbye' for no reason that I could see other than it was 'I know better than you do even though I have no idea what you want'. Very puzzling.

Oh but the very worst one was a woman at the PIP/DWP help line who was so rude and abrasive that my autistic DC went selectively mute and then burst into tears because they couldn't get the words out to confirm the name of their bank. DC had already said that they needed me to speak for them (having passed the initial ID checks) but this woman kept aggressively asking for more details until I intervened and said that DC had gone mute - she responded by saying "You've failed to complete this check to my satisfaction anyway" and then she cut us off dead. I'm trying to build up DC's confidence to deal with this stuff for themselves but this woman set us back to square one and a year later, DC still can't do these calls without having a panic attack.
The feeling that I was left with was that she actually took great delight in treating people in this manner and that it was normal for her.

@Pixilicious1 They're not all recorded and most of these messages actually say that calls MAY be recorded. My other DC used to work in a call centre setting and he said that a selection are recorded for performance monitoring or at a management request to test information consistency.
In our case the woman at DWP was not recorded and we were deemed to have no complaint as it was her word against ours.