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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Odd Neighbours - should I add extra security?

14 replies

KatbJoy · 03/12/2024 17:08

I became friends with the odd couple down the road. One of their children was the same age as my boy, and I liked the wife. But… things turned creepy.

They seemed strange from the beginning. They have heating, they had their children very late (not a strange thing though), their kids are not allowed to go to the GP, one of their children does not eat (M9), and the other one is a tad odd too and speech delayed (M5).

But I liked having a friend, and the mum seemed nice and normal enough. After a while, they split up—thank God—as I just couldn’t bear the fact they had no heating in the winter. The mum got a council flat, and we stayed in touch.

This is where things got creepy. Her husband was catfishing her online and controlled her in every way imaginable.

Then he realised I was living by myself with my son. He began complimenting me and, at times, intruding into my house without knocking. It was a nuisance at first, but later it started upsetting me, and I actually had nightmares about it. Eventually, I gathered the courage to tell him to stop, but only a few days after that, his now ex-wife told me he fantasises about violating a woman. It terrified me.

I’ve since taken extra measures to stay safe, but like… who are these people? Was I close to a danger? I'm thinking about a ring bell and have my partner staying at mine a lot.

OP posts:
Jumell · 03/12/2024 17:11

Sorry you’re going through this OP - sounds scary

How does the 9yo survive if he doesn’t eat ?

HothouseFlower · 03/12/2024 17:11

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windyweather66 · 03/12/2024 17:13

Trust your gut. The background sounds odd and the fact he walks into your house without knocking is definitely not on.

Keep your doors locked and your wits about you.

KatbJoy · 03/12/2024 17:25

Jumell · 03/12/2024 17:11

Sorry you’re going through this OP - sounds scary

How does the 9yo survive if he doesn’t eat ?

Sorry he does eat but I only saw it few times. There's only like couple of things he has and they always brushed it under the carpet. If we would go out he wouldnt have anything and just watch us having full english.

OP posts:
Jumell · 03/12/2024 17:27

KatbJoy · 03/12/2024 17:25

Sorry he does eat but I only saw it few times. There's only like couple of things he has and they always brushed it under the carpet. If we would go out he wouldnt have anything and just watch us having full english.

ah I’ve seen this - I know a young boy who as a kid only ate jam sandwiches!

stargazerlil · 03/12/2024 21:44

You had your door unlocked so anyone can walk in, I don’t get that.

Cosmosforbreakfast · 03/12/2024 21:53

Completely ignore your neighbour from now on. Block him anywhere you can.
Get a camera doorbell. Don't answer the door to him.
Keep all your doors and windows locked at all times.
Log your neighbour's intrusions with 101 so you have some sort of trail in case he tries anything else.
Lock down your social media.

Wanttomakemincepies · 11/12/2024 21:08

The husband sounds creepy. It’s awful that happened to you. The not eating, maybe the child is autistic and has a restrictive diet, similar for the speech delay.

purplehair1 · 11/12/2024 21:12

Are they a very religious/Jehovahs Witness family? How does the dad walk in without knocking? Isn’t your door locked?

BuildbyNumbere · 11/12/2024 21:26

So has the eating, GP visits etc changed now they split up or is that still happening?
Did you suspect abuse? Mum, Dad, both?
Lock your door and get a ring bell for sure! Maybe panic alarm by front door also as a precaution?!?

icelolly12 · 11/12/2024 21:29

Well you could start by locking your door

user2848502016 · 11/12/2024 21:42

Everything apart from the creepy husband can be ignored.
Yes I would up security. Get a ring doorbell, chain on the front door, make sure all your ground floor windows are shut and can't be opened from the outside. It would even not be going too far to get a bolt on your bedroom door, and always have your mobile in there with you at night.

pizzaHeart · 11/12/2024 21:44

icelolly12 · 11/12/2024 21:29

Well you could start by locking your door

This^

DefinitelyNotAStepfordWife · 11/12/2024 22:12

Maybe the friend was warning you after realising he has taken an interest in you. Definitely get a ring doorbell and call 101 to discuss this. They need to be aware so can react quickly if needed without the need to ask a bunch of questions before sending anyone if it comes to that. Don't risk it.

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