To ask what happens if you go back?

[Emeraldiisland]

Try and keep this vague. If you leave your husband and the police and SS get involved what happens if you then go back? Do SS get involved /maybe remove the child from their parents? Or are they and the police so overstretched that they don't have time or resources to deal with it?

Assuming police and SS were involved because of some kind of abuse and/or violence, then yes, I would strongly expect a follow up visit for SS to ensure that the children are being properly safeguarded. And potential further measures if SS decided that they weren't, or that there was a risk to them.

If you left due to abuse and or violence, it is wildly unlikely that he will change for more than the minimum required to persuade you back, at which point the violence and abuse is very likely to start again, and quite likely escalate.

So please just don't go back in the first place.

Yes, if a child is known to SS because of the behaviour of one parent, and then the other parent returns to live with the abusive one, SS are likely to intervene and this may involve removal of the children from the home where the abusive parent lives. They won’t leave children in a home where abuse has occurred (whether directed at the children or towards the other parent in their presence).

It is also important that you note that abuse often escalates when the abused partner leaves and returns. It empowers the abuser by showing them that there aren’t consequences for their actions. It is very, very dangerous to return after leaving.

It's not me, it's a family member. I'm not sure of the extent but there was abuse towards the parent and possibly the child. Begged them not to go back but it's looking likely.

Social services will do a risk assessment based on the circumstances of the previous issue, in some circumstances they may provide family support, in others they may look to remove the child. Not engaging with services increases the risk and so increases the chances of children being removed because they can’t assess and manage risk if they can’t work with the family. What that process looks like in practice depends on which uk nation you’re in and your local authority child protection process.

Ime, and very sadly, it's a common reason that a child is removed - because the abused parent is unable to protect the child from the abuse.

The parent is failing to safeguard their child so SS will either get involved with the family, or remove the child depending on the extent of the abuse.

In your shoes I would be making SS aware they are back together because you likely won't get the full story from the people involved, they will downplay and deny a lot.

This is why I believe the police should be involved and prosecute domestic abusers every time. The manipulation is so strong that too many women go back.

I am in a state of shock. The social worker involved with this case has told the teenage child to get in touch with their father because he is going to anger management and has changed.
This man is so manipulative and he's a narcissist and I can't believe this is what they are saying.
I'm assuming the charges against him were dropped but fucking why would a social worker want a child placed in danger?
I've see the email so I know it's true but I'm stunned. So apparently if you're a great liar feel free to abuse your partner and child because SS will still side with you. Fucking unbelievable!

The teenager has a right to a relationship with their father, and social work can’t prevent that without very clear evidence the father presents a risk, and the only way to mitigate that risk is to seek an order removing the child from their care. The threshold for that is incredibly high.

The teenager isn’t in their father’s care, has a safe place with their mum and presumably wants contact with dad. It would be different if the child still lived with dad but in the absence of an immediate risk, their hands are tied.

SS won't just go away, once they are involved they're involved for a long time

But that's the problem she doesn't want contact with him. She's 16 but SS keep pushing her to see the man who physically abused her and her mum
If her mum moved back in she'd be removed from them but it's fine to have unsupervised contact with her abuser. It makes no sense to me.

The reality is at 16 she’s not going to be removed from home - social work don’t have the resources to place 16 year olds for the main part. The other reality is at 16 she can choose to have contact or not, social work can’t compel her to have a relationship that she doesn’t want. She can literally ignore any suggestion that she contacts her dad.

It is horrible. In my family the social workers were told off by the judge for wrongly applying the law when it was not their job. Massive criticism of the SWs and the final report was horrific to read about the manipulation of the children. However the judge also said the children had been turned against their dad and so, even though he was a good man, the judge couldn't compel them to attend contact sessions. There was more abuse and manipulation after this and my male family member hasn't seen his kids in over 10 years as a result.

Thats awful. I don't think in this case anyone has turned her against her dad though. She has been witness too many times to the physical and emotional abuse that went on.
I just can't believe a SW would say go and build bridges with your abusive dad. He may be being nice at the moment but it won't last. It never does m