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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this a slippery slope to gay/bi sex

30 replies

Theslipperyslope · 03/12/2024 14:03

I stupidly looked at my DH’s emails and like the tale as old as time - found something I wish I hadn’t.

He has ordered an inflatable butt plug recently. There is also an indication that he ordered something else from the same website 6 months ago but the emails to confirm what it was are gone.

I’m suprised at my reaction, I thought I was quite open minded but I feel ill. I am really concerned that he is going down a road that will progress towards worse.

Our sex life is okay, he has struggled a couple of times in the past couple of months to maintain an erection, this was very unusual for him and he was upset/frustrated and said he was just overthinking it in the moment. Of course I am now linking the 2 things together and coming up with all sorts.

The worst thing is that I can’t talk to him about it. I tried to find the actual thing, if I came across it then we could have a conversation but now I’m just stewing over it.

Is he fantasising about men? ‘Training’ for something that doesn’t involve me? Or is it nothing - am I just being a closed minded prude 😬

OP posts:

CookieMonster28 · 03/12/2024 15:12

CreationNat1on · 03/12/2024 15:03

Ask him if he has any interest in being penetrated by a strap on. Spice up the old sex life.

You could surprise him with a lovely big 12" strap on for Xmas and offer pegging services

LuckySantangelo35 · 03/12/2024 15:25

YABU.

maybe he bought it for you Op? @Theslipperyslope

toomuchfaff · 03/12/2024 15:26

Moier · 03/12/2024 15:11

It's not one of those🤷‍♀️. It's tiny that you insert then blow up or fill with water/ gell etc ...

Show quote history

ah... thank you!

MrBungle · 03/12/2024 15:49

Theslipperyslope · 03/12/2024 15:00

Sorry if I offended some with my choice of words. I am not suggesting that there is anything wrong with being bi or gay but there certainly would be for me, given that I'm his wife. I also believe that you can discover things about yourself through experimenting, things that you would otherwise not have realised - that was the 'slippery slope' referred to but appreciate my choice of words was poor.

I realise my reaction is judgy, and I'm surprised to have reacted that way. I guess ultimately I fear I am not enough, that it will become more difficult for me to satisfy him and he will eventually look for elsewhere.

I realise that it all sounds very dramatic, which is why I would never say any of this out loud. I just felt that Mumsnet was a safe space

Thanks for replies anyway, other people being open minded definitely helps me to understand that it's not particularly unusual and not necessarily indicative of anything more.

I mean this in a nice way, he might fancy you getting a strap on and pegging him :) not being "enough" is a fear but I don't see anything here to make that sound true. You should be having healthy honest discussions about sex! Maybe get a sex councillor to talk it through, could be fun!

RobertaFirmino · 03/12/2024 15:54

CookieMonster28 · 03/12/2024 15:12

You could surprise him with a lovely big 12" strap on for Xmas and offer pegging services

Show quote history

If it's good enough for the Prince of Wales then why not?

Joking aside, how do you feel about touching his ass, OP? You don't need to answer that here but ask yourself whether that's an absolute no or would you consider it?

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