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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to give DD one present early?

27 replies

MrsWinstanley · 03/12/2024 10:05

DD is 4.5 and is quite a typical "girly" girl. Since starting nursery in September, she's been hearing about various things that interest her. She requested "Elsa hair" so after looking up what that should look like, we watched Frozen.

I have an older DS (7) so there's a lot of Lego and they play with it together. She spotted an Elsa Lego set in a catalogue we had lying around and has not stopped going on about it since! It's only a small set (under £10) so I just ordered it for her.

Since she's so desperate for it, should I just give it to her early (making clear it's a Christmas present from mummy and daddy), or make her wait for Christmas? She'll have lots of other presents to open at Christmas from my parents, other family, etc.

What would you do?

OP posts:
Pistachiochiochio · 03/12/2024 10:07

I thought you were going to say it's the new pair of gloves she needs, give it to her early to avoid her getting cold. Or a specific outfit for a particular pre-Christmas event.

No, I wouldn't as that's part of the excitement of Christmas (and learning about delayed gratification!). But there's no law against it.

Jellycatspyjamas · 03/12/2024 10:07

I’d let her wait, we have a house rule of no new toys in December because of Christmas. At her age she won’t make the link between a toy now and it being a Christmas present, what if she decides there’s something else she’s really keen on over the next few weeks?

longapple · 03/12/2024 10:09

I'd play it down and say you'll see if you can get it but it was an old catalogue and you're not sure it's made anymore then enjoy her exploding with excitement on Christmas day.
I'd only give something early if it would be useful (like warm hat or something)

Eenameenadeeka · 03/12/2024 10:09

Agree with the other post, I have a gift for one of my little boys that I know he's going to love, I have wanted to give it to him so many times haha. But I am waiting, not long to go now! (I bought it months ago haha) Do whatever you want though it won't hurt if you want to do it now

JazzHandsYeah · 03/12/2024 10:11

I get what you mean, but the build up and excitement around Santa coming with presents is one to be cherished. Plus you’ll be making a rod for your own back in the future. Try and hold off, not long now. 🎅

Original poster
MrsWinstanley · 03/12/2024 10:14

Jellycatspyjamas · 03/12/2024 10:07

I’d let her wait, we have a house rule of no new toys in December because of Christmas. At her age she won’t make the link between a toy now and it being a Christmas present, what if she decides there’s something else she’s really keen on over the next few weeks?

This is a good point that she might just decide she "needs" another set and that one will be for Christmas! There's several bigger (more expensive!) sets in the catalogue too, as well as a similar sized Anna one so she's got a lot of options to snowball it, so to speak!

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 03/12/2024 10:17

If she's desperate for it, she'll be thrilled on Christmas. I see parents do this and I think it does dilute Christmas. Delayed gratification is a useful skill to teach.

Precipice · 03/12/2024 10:25

I don't think it matters. There are a few European countries where there's a little present for St. Nicholas Day (this Friday) and then the rest of the presents Christmas Eve.

I actually think there's more appreciation for individual presents when they are given individually, rather than as a deluge of presents opened one after the other.

user2848502016 · 03/12/2024 12:57

I would wait, it's only 3 weeks!

Original poster
MrsWinstanley · 03/12/2024 21:54

user2848502016 · 03/12/2024 12:57

I would wait, it's only 3 weeks!

Practically a lifetime in the eyes of a 4-year-old! Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsWinstanley · 03/12/2024 21:57

Precipice · 03/12/2024 10:25

I don't think it matters. There are a few European countries where there's a little present for St. Nicholas Day (this Friday) and then the rest of the presents Christmas Eve.

I actually think there's more appreciation for individual presents when they are given individually, rather than as a deluge of presents opened one after the other.

Funny you should say that, because we actually live in one of them! Though the little present from St Nicholas tends to be more like chocolate and sweets than Lego... but it's something to consider!

OP posts:
Mummyexpat · 10/12/2024 15:23

I’d maybe give it to her on the last day of nursery/first day of hols, if you haven’t got much planned…may help temper the “is it Christmas yet??” comments and let you get on with prep… you’d have to give your son something too, really, but then they’d both happy and occupied!

EmmaM84 · 10/12/2024 19:18

Do you do elf on the shelf? If so could he bring it, that way its still on the Xmas theme?

SeaToSki · 10/12/2024 19:22

I think a lot of the ‘magic’ of Christmas for that age is the waiting and hoping. So if you give it to her early, you are reducing the magic

Rhaidimiddim · 10/12/2024 19:22

In Germany, children get their presnts on Christmas Eve.

My DH is German. Using that as an excuse, we've alwsys allowed the kids and grandkids to open one present on Christmas Eve.

ElsaGreen · 10/12/2024 19:25

She's your child...if you want to give her a present early, why would you wait...do Xmas however it makes you happy x

Owly11 · 10/12/2024 19:26

No, make her wait. It's part of the magic of Christmas and you will lessen the magic by giving it early.

Porcuporpoise · 10/12/2024 19:30

SeaToSki · 10/12/2024 19:22

I think a lot of the ‘magic’ of Christmas for that age is the waiting and hoping. So if you give it to her early, you are reducing the magic

This.

JillMW · 10/12/2024 21:21

I would give her it. I think children often appreciate a little surprise before Christmas, as long as all the siblings have something. They receive so much on Christmas Day, it is nice to break it up a little.

hummingbird12 · 10/12/2024 21:36

If it was something she NEEDED I would like clothing etc.
my daughters birthday is next t week and I have her an early gift as it was a nice thing to have for a specific even she was going to but I made it clear it was a birthday gift and gave her it wrapped etc.

With Lego I would personally save it for Christmas morning. She will be over the moon to open it will reinforce the magic of Christmas while she's at a prime age for it.
I'm like you though and I do get very tempted to give them gifts before if I know they will love it 🤣

EmsSummer · 11/12/2024 03:25

I wouldn’t. It’ll be a rod for your back. What have you done in the past if your son has been excited? You really have to get him something too which might be confusing for him. It’ll give her the message that waiting isn’t ok and there will be other things that are an exception to the rule. Children don’t learn to wait on their own. Up to you though.

Personally I would join her excitement. I love that bit! You’ve got a secret…you know she’s going to get it 😊 play along. Eg She talks about it ‘I really can’t wait to get …’ ‘ooh I don’t know. Let’s see what FC brings. Imagine if he does though. We can build it on Christmas morning eek!’ Then get excited, jump around the kitchen with her, and put in Let it Go and dance. This is the sort of thing that is so magical

PeloMom · 11/12/2024 03:29

I don’t think she’ll connect this gift to Christmas being 3 weeks away however I’d give it since she’d have lots of gifts to open anyway.

BoldAmberDuck · 11/12/2024 06:26

Mummyexpat · 10/12/2024 15:23

I’d maybe give it to her on the last day of nursery/first day of hols, if you haven’t got much planned…may help temper the “is it Christmas yet??” comments and let you get on with prep… you’d have to give your son something too, really, but then they’d both happy and occupied!

I would definitely do this too

SaagAloopa · 11/12/2024 06:33

It's up to you really isn't it.

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