Difficult TTC when husband can not have intercourse.

[Mummmy1986]

I have been TTC 3 years I’m 38 years old. My husband 44 - we have two children. But after having my second child husband only have sex once or twice a month. If I tell him
im in ovalation week - we may do it once or if I am luck twice - difficult to time it - even if he tries to do more than that he wont have eraction, I get anxious thinking when to do the deed. For example
we do on peak day - he won’t be able to do the deed the next day. Even if he tries. He won’t be able to do it physically. I feel so exhausted and embarrassed to put him in these situations. Im on letrazol and was told to do the deed every other day. This is impossible. I have no funds for fertility treatment. I need advice.

You sure he wants a third? Because it doesn’t sound like it.

Can't or won't?

Why is he unable to have sex? Has he been to the doctors about this?

Does he want to have a baby and/or have sex with you?
If not then you are being unfair

He said yes. He discussed and happy to have another. He is also very loving there to his two kids.

It could be several things!

• Stress about having to perform, you telling him each time when its time to perform, the worry about the cost of a 3rd child, work, general life issues, his own ageing parents?
• a physical, medical issue he might have. Early diabetes, heart issues all manner of things can cause erectile dysfunction.

Has he been to the GP to rule out medical issues?

I’d give up, I think. Flogging a dead horse is the phrase that springs to mind.

He needs to go to his GP. He’s very young to be having ED. He may have underlying health issues or he can be supported by meds to maintain erection. There are options. All is not lost.

I would seriously encourage him to go to the GP ASAP as there could be serious underlying health reasons. He needs to discuss this with his GP and I would also insist on a PSA check to rule out prostrate cancer.

You know him best but was it your idea and he agreed?
If so he may not be very enthusiastic

Nothing less sexy than basically saying I want sex because I’m ovulating.

Get his blood pressure checked. DH had (well.. still has) the same issue. Turns out he has chronic hypertension.

What's his physical fitness like? Do you think he doesn't want to or he can't?

Sorry to be crass but could you try the turkey baster approach?

Are you still sexually attracted to each other? It sounds like you just want his sperm and a dad for the kids. I'm not surprised he can't get it up.

When was the last time there was any proper passion between the two of you? Instead of "I'm ovulating, kindly deposit your sperm"

Don't tell him when you're fertile. Relax and go with the flow, and hopefully he will too. Take the pressure off
Sounds like he might be getting quite anxious about it