To fancy someone based on how they are not how they look?

[Parrotting]

On a crowded train yesterday. There was a man sitting across the aisle; normal bloke, 40ish, not someone I’d find physically attractive at all. Quite the opposite.

Elderly woman got on, quite frail looking. He stood up immediately so she could take his seat. Not only that he stood and chatted with her until she stop 20 mins away; not forced chat, just friendly conversation about where they were going, weather, Christmas, etc. He then helped her off with her bag.

There was just something about the way he was when chatting that just made me fancy him. Just really jolly and friendly, polite and respectful, in a way you don’t see so much now.

Anyway, anyone suddenly found themselves fancying someone despite their superficial first impressions? Or just me being unreasonable?

Yes. I completely fancied a, not very physically attractive, Irishman once.

His incredible wit, his musical skills, his poetry, his voice, completely made me fancy him like mad. We had a short fling but both knew we weren't matched.

I once found myself attracted to a man that was totally not what I go for in looks. I do not find myself attracted to blonde men and this guy was blonde however, he had a great sense of humour and always made me laugh so I suddenly found myself having a huge crush on him.

I was drawn to a man from the moment we met, he was kind and funny, but so not my type.
This was in 1977 and my type was skinny build, tight jeans long hair, he was more Phil Collins than Phil Lynott!

But he had that certain something that just did it for me.
We have been happily married for 46 years.

Oh 100%. Looks alone are a small thing really.

I’ve certainly stopped finding men attractive that I have preciously liked when I’ve seen behaviour in them that I don’t like, so I can see it can work the other way around too. Personally I have to find someone physically attractive to ‘fancy’ them though.

*previously

I've got the absolute hots for my male GP. I am a confirmed lesbian. But oh my word his bedside manner... he has the talent of making you feel that you're such a fabulous person it is his complete honour and privilege to do everything in his power to make you well again. I would totally switch sides for him!

To quote Ted Lasso, "I'm not sure you know how emotionally healthy that is".