How can you tell if people are being passive aggressive?

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Or do I just overthink everything and assume people are having a pop at me when perhaps they’re not?

Long story, but I was texting a friend of mine the other day about a gentleman that had fitted my new bathroom. He had done a fair bit of work for me on my house and when I moved in, he bought me a card and a bottle of alcohol as a home warming present. I thought this was a nice gesture. He then tried to call me the morning after - I missed his call and forget to call him back and he had text me to say he hoped I wasn’t offended by the card and that it was a gesture of thanks for all the work and nothing more. I had absolutely no idea where he got that from and told him of course I wasn’t offended!
Anyway, I sent a screenshot of the convo to
my friend with a ‘😂🤦‍♀️’ emoji. She came back to say poor guy probably worries about offending everyone these days and that was it.

But then twenty mins later, her partner (who I am also friends with although admittedly not as close) text me a meme saying something about bees wouldn’t be able to convince flies that pollen is better than shit. Completely randomly.
I spent all last night worrying that he is saying that I am the piece of shit for some reason. I am overthinking it aren’t I??

You are completely right and for context, I’m not always like this. I used to be worse but I’ve gotten better. I think I’m tired and stressed as I have just moved house and recently ended a relationship so may be being extra sensitive. I’ve asked him what it means this morning anyway so I will see what he says

From how you've said you text eachother about politics, I would imagine the meme is related to a previous text exchange and nothing at all to do with the workman situation.

Thank you. This is what I should assume I guess

Well done for asking! Hopefully he comes back soon and clears it up for you.

I know what you mean I was awful when I was younger and when I’m emotional it’s tends to slip out and I over think but I have to have sturn words with myself!

I like this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent

Thank you, this makes a lot of sense

This is my reading, too. I would have thought it was fairly clear what the workman was doing tbh.

Having read this, I hope you feel better soon. That's a lot at once, and if your friends know, they should have been nicer.

How have her friends not been nice though? If the bloke has sent her this meme quite innocently as part of a discussion about politics, how could he possibly have anticipated it upsetting the op?

This is the thing, you may be right. But it wasn’t a ‘follow on’ from a conversation if that makes sense. We may text a couple of times a week a little back and forth about something. That meme wasn’t off the back of anything we were talking about either.

Reply to her husband
"Soz mate I don't get it, can you explain"

OP poor you! Honestly it must be hell to be in your head with so much worry if you are worrying about this so much! I would have texted back ‘haha’ and gone about my day. He clearly thought it was clever or funny so that’s an appropriate response- I honestly wouldn’t even bother getting him to explain because I don’t care enough. I think I would have done in my 20s but once I hit 40 I just can’t even muster up the energy to care what other people think of me. It takes practice but it’s much easier to make a choice to just not care! Much love xx

Yes I agree - just as I feel that I am learning the trick to being a bit more laid back about these things, something like this hits me.

I didn’t receive a response yet to me asking what it was about.