To quit my job and change career

[Phonicshaskilledmeoff]

I hate my job. I find it dull and stressful in equal measure, despite being extremely flexible, quite well paid and part time (20 hours a week, term time only £31.5k). It’s not repetitive particularly, I’m talking to new people all the time. Once upon a time I did enjoy it, but after 13 years I think I’ve outgrown it.

My husband is a good earner. Bringing in £5700 a month. Note our monthly bills (just mortgage and utilities) are high at about £3250. We have 3 children, but no childcare costs.We have no debt other than the mortgage and my very nearly paid off my student loans. I think we’d be ok, albeit not too many luxuries. It does worry me that he’s only just started so doesn’t have much protection.

id love to do something completely different, but I don’t really know what. There isn’t something that I’m desperate to try. I’m always considering opening my own business, but don’t have an actual business idea. I love redesigning rooms but wouldn’t know where to start with a career in that area.

Im just so bored with my life. Days turn into weeks into years. I feel like I’m sleep walking through my life without any direction or enjoyment.

YABU - you are mental- stay in your job. You would be foolish to give up something with so much flexibility that most people would kill for. Stop moaning you tone deaf fool.

YANBU - life’s too short to do something that bores you, find your passion.

Depends on kids ages and if you need flexibility with work

If your job is only 20 hours term time it’s only a tiny percentage of your life (about 15 hrs a week) if you are so bored with your life it sounds like it’s more than just the job. What hobbies etc do have. You could study, set up a business and still do your pt job.

It is definitely more than just the job.

No hobbies whatsoever- I think I had kids so young that I just worked and looked after them without adding anything else in. Similar to the what would I do with work question though? I don’t know what I would do for a hobby. I struggle to ‘see the point’ in most hobbies. I know that sounds strange, but for example I know I am good at art, but I don’t enjoy the process - just know that the output was quite good. I was a trustee for a charity (and could see the point) but just found it was just like more work. I certainly don’t enjoy fitness based stuff and have never been good at sport.

Don't just quit, actively look and think about what you want to do whilst still employed. Your job is a cushy set up that you probably won't replicate and the job market is tough right now so if you just quit then change your mind/struggle to break into a new industry you'll be stuck. Maybe use whatever you studied towards a career? Or use your degree to pivot into a new career path? Do the research.

How old are your kids?

10, 7 and 3

Yeah so for the younger ones you definitely don't want to be giving up your part time term time only contract on a whim. Definitely have a long hard think about what it is you'd want to change to OR what hobbies you'd want to fulfil that feeling if it's not a work change.

What about volunteering? I work ft and volunteer with girl guiding. I find it rewarding and it’s also led to an active social life for me with other leaders as part of an adult only group, we’ve done all sorts of things.

Tbh I would stick it out, I would die for a term time contract again!!!

I hate my job. I find it dull and stressful in equal measure, despite being extremely flexible, quite well paid and part time (20 hours a week)

All of this is me but I've had an awful year at work and I also feel changing industry. I only moved into this one having been made redundant in 2020 because I wanted more stability. I also am not sure what I want to do but I did least like my last industry despite the risks. But I just can't quite bring myself to give up a school hours office job!

This.

Your current kind of flexibility whilst the kids are young is priceless.

Use your restlessness to retrain in the background or start a part time business.

But don't jump before you have something established, it's a tough job market out there, especially for flexible roles like yours.

I know it’s priceless. It’s almost as though that makes me feel more trapped though - like I have no choice but to stay. (Yes I know it’s a very privileged moan).

Life’s too short to stay doing something you dislike. However it’s always a good idea to have a plan before you quit. Your job sounds ideal from the point of view of childcare, and it’s a real consideration when your youngest is only three.

I don’t think most people love their jobs, if they’re honest, we’re lucky if we have something we enjoy at least part of the time. And I completely understand that it can be hard to walk away from a career that you’ve trained for. I did this, but faced an awful lot of questions especially from family, who couldn’t understand why I’d give up a profession that (in their view) was rewarding and prestigious.

Give yourself a deadline - maybe when your youngest starts school? Use the time to work out what you’d like to do and get things lined up. It will make the boring job more bearable, and give you a safety net.
There are agencies (for a fee) or books and online quizzes that will help you identify what your strengths are. What would you like to do if you had more time? Is there something you did when you were younger that you would’ve liked to pursue? What are you passionate about? What training courses are there, how much would you need to save, how realistic is it that you could earn a living doing something else?

You should definitely follow your dreams, and not worry about the fact that it might be less well-paid, but unless you know what you want to do you could be giving up an easy job for something worse.

You want this board, @Phonicshaskilledmeoff:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mature_students

Inexhaustible source of ideas, inspiration and experience.

You need a plan and you need some fun in your life! What do you actually enjoy doing?

I honestly don’t know. I got married young and have always made such sensible decisions.

We did have a reset before Covid and sold the house and went to nz/oz with the kids for 6 months. I honestly think that’s the only fun/non sensible thing I’ve ever done.

I really need to find some fun.

I think you’re onto something with a deadline.

We are renovating the house and should be finished by March. I think I will set a deadline to have at least figured out the steps to figuring out what I want by then!

Have a look at the adult courses available at your local college. Mine does art (painting, life drawing); jewellery making; floristry; carpentry… and see if there is one that you don’t recoil from. Step out of your comfort zone and try something different. You’d lose nothing if you didn’t enjoy it or never did it again, but something might inspire you.
Keep your job for now, until you know what else you might do instead.

It would worry me that your husband has only just started so doesn’t have much protection. The initial period at a job is always a bit uncertain in that you may not be fully productive and your boss is keeping an eye on your performance hoping you are going to work out in the job. I also think you would be unwise to give up your job because as people have said that sort of job is a rare and precious thing - 20 hours a week term time.

The other thing is that you don't have a burning desire to work in a particular field. Retraining costs time, money and effort and you may be equally bored with the new job and you'd be starting at the bottom again. I had a hankering for a particular type of job and I got a secondment doing it - at the end of the secondment any ideas I had about the supposed glamour of the role was knocked out of me. I have never worked so hard and worried so much in my life. I found out that that is what the job is like although I didn't start at the bottom because I have a lot of knowledge in a related field. I am just thankful that I didn't go into the area straight out of university because even people who are at the top of the field have awful working lives. Working up to midnight prepping and then starting at 6 am again.

I kind of agree with you about craft type hobbies. What about learning a language and eventually taking a family holiday there? Or cooking something exotic or breadmaking or whatever. At least you can eat the stuff so not a waste. What about a hiking group or something where you are not the trustee but just one of the members? Even if you are a duffer at sport, what about swimming lessons? Private lessons or adults classes for sports are not the ritualised humiliation that passed for Phys Ed in my day - we had an ex-army instructor and it was like years of bootcamp.

Is there anything about any job/activity you've done that you enjoyed? That could be a starting point.

Volunteering is a good way to push your comfort zones and explore other areas.

Sign up for job emails and read through any that take your fancy (ignore your qualifications, just see if you can find jobs that spark your interest).