New username.
DS is 11 and in year 6. He also is autistic, with ADHD. This is probably relevant.
DS has said today that he wants to buy a present for a classmate, with his own money. However, I have dissuaded him from doing this, and I wonder if I'm just being cynical.
This isn't a birthday or Christmas present and this classmate isn't a particular friend of DS, they are just in the same class. They have never exchanged gifts before, and I don’t expect the gift giving will be reciprocated. This classmate has specified what he wants DS to buy him, so they have clearly discussed it, rather than DS doing it on a whim.
It's not a huge amount that DS wants to spend, but for me, this isn't the point. This same classmate has also been very unpleasant to DS in the past (targeted bullying, which I reported to the school and they said they dealt with). Because of this, I don't particularly like this child and I admit that it is clouding my judgement.
DS has been 'taken advantage of' before - for example, we've given him spending money for a Scout trip and most of it was spent buying drinks and sweets for other kids, because he won't say no when they ask him to buy things for them. In the past, he has also given his things away (often we have only found this out afterwards) because someone at school has expressed a liking or a wish for them. I love that DS is kind and generous, but I fear that he will continue to be seen as a soft touch.
I don’t want to teach DS not to be generous, but he just doesn’t see/hasn't learned that some people will take advantge (and we have tried to tell him that). AIBU? Or would you let him buy the present?