I know I am being unreasonable, so please don’t judge me too harshly.
My husband is a lovely man, and we have two beautiful kids together, and I do love him but I’m not in love with him anymore.
I would like to separate but I am a SAHM, where my little boy is in nursery two days a week from 9.30 - 2.45 and I am studying to go into a different career. And i don’t have any money of my own at the moment 😔
We have been together for 15 years and married for 11, but there is no passion - wasn’t even any on our honeymoon. I had been turned down by him a few times before so my self esteem was too low to get turned down again.
He has never once told me I look nice when we very infrequently go out, will make the joke of “aren’t you going to get changed” which he thinks is funny and I have to tell him each time that it’s not.
sometimes he is great with the kids other times he will lay on the sofa on his phone for the afternoon and let the kids do what they want.
He isn’t abusive, defensive and sometimes gaslighting but not abusive. And he isn’t out all the time with his mates so he is always around just isn’t “present” a lot of the time.
i do the most of the cleaning, all school / school club pick up and drop offs, washing. Which is obviously a given as I am not the one bringing in the money to our household.
I just feel like I’m living in a celibate, last time was 7 months ago, before that it was a year. And loveless marriage.
I had an old friend message me a little over a year ago telling me I was really beautiful and I still looked the same. But I shut it down immediately.
I couldn’t believe him though because my self esteem is rock bottom.
Sorry the post is long & thank you for reading this far.