To complain about content of training TW

[hornsofthefuriousdilemma]

Trigger warning suicide and war death

Had to attend a training day today where the guest speaker was a secret. All we were told was that we would be moved to tears and that he would increase our wellbeing. When we got into the hall and sat down (bleacher seating) we were told that the talk would refer to suicide and that if we got upset at any point we could leave (which would entail a walk down the bleachers in full view of the whole audience and the speaker) but we would be expected to return to the hall after we had finished being upset.

The speaker then launched into a list of all the traumas he had suffered as a child which led to him enrolling in the army. He painted this as a great adventure, getting to fire tank guns and have fun with his mates. He then described his friend getting "blown into little bits" which he had to pick up and put in a bag. He then went on to talk about his near suicide attempt.

I feel that we should have been given a heads up about the content of this talk long before it actually began and it should never have been mandated that we attend such a sensitive talk.

WIBU to raise these concerns with the organisers?

Yanbu. This seems very inappropriate as a training session, especially as a surprise training session.

How you share this feedback probably depends on a few different factors. Do you mind saying what industry you work in as that might affect how you feedback.

Yanbu

Yanbu that’s not ok.

YANBU. That’s not a trauma-informed or psychologically safe way to handle that kind of material.

Thank you - I work in education. I'd need to contact the council lead that organised it. Headteachers weren't aware of the contents until we were.

This is a ridiculous overstep and ridiculous in light of the people who are entrusted with consent.

A full and frank disclosure should have been made. Very unfair on the trainees.

That sounds wildly inappropriate.

How on earth was that supposed to increase your wellbeing?

I really have no idea!

YANBU but I must say in your shoes I would have had no issues walking out- the training sounds like it would have given some people trauma rather than improve anyone's wellbeing!!

If I hadn't been stuck at the far end of a full bleacher seat I would happily have left.

Grasping at straws, I was wondering if perhaps it was a misguided attempt, in a male dominated industry, to show that if an ex-soldier can have challenges with their mental health then anyone can. Although, it would still be inappropriate without notice of the content of the training but there would at least be a logic to having it.

Where I work then I could feed this back on the post training evaluation form that would be sent out to me. If I wanted a reply then I could contact the person who sent out the evaluation and give more detailed feedback. I'm sorry I'm not sure what the correct process would be in education (if you can contact the council lead yourself or if your headteacher would be expected to).

Hopefully no former soldiers with history of active duty in the audience. I've worked with two so wondered that. No idea what they thought you'd get out of that.

id have to leave and not return.

Apparently, due to a series of traumatic events in his childhood (poverty, parents' divorce, physical abuse (being smacked), bullying, lack of opportunity in the local area) he got excluded from school for fighting - then joining the army. The message was that we (as educators) needed to make sure we created "positive relationships" with pupils, but heaven forfend we ask them to do any work, sit any exams or wear a tie, as that adds to their stress. It was a trauma-dump followed by a guilt trip.

There were two. He asked. Then proceeded to talk about the death of his friend. Just awful.

I would have needed at least one day off to recover if I was subjected to that. I don't watch anything rated 15+ for violence because I cannot cope. This does not impact on my ability to form working relationships with my students. Absolutely ridiculous, please complain (possibly also via your union).

What did they think of it?

I didn't ask them - there were over 100 people there. I sincerely hope they didn't experience anything as awful as he talked about, but neither he nor I have any way of knowing if they had.

My darling friend lost her mother to suicide, if that had been sprung on her on a work talk she would have been destroyed in front of all her colleagues. Who wouldn't know about it because she doesn't tell a lot of people, so they wouldn't have been able to support her.

Awful. I'm the first one to laugh at a silly trigger warning but that is not suitable for work at all, you need to complain.

Thank you everyone. I have composed an email which I will run past my union reps on Monday. Need to decide whether I let my head know or not - she didn't have anything to do with the event organisation at all, but I guess she will know if there's any fall out. Going to put my phone down and try and decompress a bit.

@hornsofthefuriousdilemma I would tell the head

the vortex of crazy that sets up these things might mean that no one really registered the contents. No idea how this helps well-being.

That’s ridiculous. How on earth is that supposed to assist you in your role as an educator? Is it supposed to be your responsibility to anticipate and mitigate tragedies that may occur years or decades in the future? Did this man have not have agency or autonomy? It sounds like it would be better placed in the British Army recruitment department.

So often it feels like the people who come up with these bright ideas haven’t got a clue about how things work in the real world.

Update - I contacted the council today and received an apology and an assurance that in future we will be warned about sensitive content in good time. Hopefully that will actually happen!

I would have hoped they would say they would not use this person in future
and contact all attendees with apology and contact details for support